Upbringing by Pastor Abidan Shah

UPBRINGING by Pastor Shah, Clearview Church, Henderson

Introduction: Yesterday, Ryan and Elizabeth had a mini-golf tournament at Adventure Island for all the students and their dads. We had a great time. I couldn’t help noticing how much kids took after their dads – active dads, active kids; quiet dads, quiet kids; competitive dads, competitive kids – not sure if the kids or the dads would admit to that. One thing was for sure, kids need their fathers.Our culture thinks that fathers are just an accessory (cell phone case, fancy purse, or limited-edition hat) but God has appointed fathers to be the primary influence in every child’s life. Today’s message titled “UBBRINGING” will help us see that.

1 Corinthians 4      15“For though you might have ten thousand instructors in Christ, yetyou donothavemany fathers; for in Christ Jesus I have begotten you through the gospel. 16Therefore I urge you, imitate me. 17For this reason I have sent Timothy to you, who is my beloved and faithful son in the Lord, who will remind you of my ways in Christ, as I teach everywhere in every church.”

Question: Fathers, you are to be the Instructors, Models, and Protectors to your children. Have you lived up to and are you living up to the calling God gave you as a dad? Children, of all ages, have you been grateful for what your fathers have done for you? For some, this may be a tough message.Either you were not the father you were supposed to be or you broke your father’s heart. Ask God to forgive you and give you his grace. Are you saved? John 1:12“But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, to those who believe in His name.”

Context: In light of Father’s Day, today’s message is a little different than how I typically preach.I want to dwell on the father-son relationship between Paul and Timothy.In I Corinthians 4:17, Paul refers to Timothy as “my beloved and faithful son in the Lord.” If you’ve studied the Bible, you know that Timothy was not Paul’s biological son. In Acts 16Luke gives us some background on who Timothy was. Listen to verse “Then he (Paul)came to Derbe and Lystra. And behold, a certain disciple was there, named Timothy, theson of a certain Jewish woman who believed, but his fatherwasGreek.” Apparently, Timothy was the son of a Jewish woman and a Greek man. The way Luke phrases that statement, Timothy’s father never converted to Judaism. Intermarriage between Jewish people and Gentiles was not as problematic to the Rabbis as long as the Gentile person converted to Judaism. The requirements for conversion were still quite high. But, if there was no conversion, it was strictly prohibited. According to the Book of Jubilees (a Jewish writing from that period), “And if there is a man in Israel who wishes to give his daughter or his sister to any man who is from the seed of gentiles, let him surely die … because he has caused shame in Israel.”(Jub 30:7) You can imagine what kind of a life Timothy must have had. Probably, his mother’s side of people did not accept him because his father was Greek and his father’s side of people did not accept him because his mother was Jewish. Then, it was probably on Paul’s first missionary journey (Acts 13-14)that Timothy’s grandmother and mother got saved, and even Timothy. Paul mentions them in 2 Timothy 1:5“when I call to remembrance the genuine faith that is in you, which dwelt first in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice, and I am persuaded is in you also.” Paul doesn’t say a word about Timothy’s father which means he never got saved and maybe even cut off all relations with Timothy and his mother.

The gospel can be very costly. Accepting Jesus as our Savior and King may lead to a loss of relationship with family. Listen to what Jesus said in Matthew 10     37 “He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me.38And he who does not take his cross and follow after Me is not worthy of Me.”

Illustration: My own father lost his family when he became a Christian. Its mind blowing!

Let’s return to Acts 16      2“He (Timothy)was well spoken of by the brethren who were at Lystra and Iconium. 3Paul wanted to have him go on with him. And he tookhimand circumcised him…” Scholars have long debated this action by Paul. He had fought hard against circumcision as a requirement for the Gentiles. He even refused to let Titus, who was also Greek, from having to be circumcised. He says it clearly in Galatians 5     2“Indeed I, Paul, say to you that if you become circumcised, Christ will profit you nothing….6For in Christ Jesus neither circumcision nor uncircumcision avails anything, but faith working through love.” In fact, Paul was on a mission to take the news of the Jerusalem Council’s decision to the churches that circumcision was not necessary in order to be saved. Why then did he get Timothy circumcised? Listen to the rest of Acts 16:3 “And he tookhimand circumcised him because of the Jews who were in that region, for they all knew that his father was Greek.” This was not about circumcision but about sonship. In a symbolic way, Paul was claiming Timothy as his son. Other than Luke, Paul had Timothy as his closest companion in ministry. Except for his letters to the Galatians, Ephesians, and Titus, he mentions Timothy in all his letters. 

Illustration: Going back to my own dad, he was symbolically adopted by a missionary scholar by the name of Dr. Fred Schelander. He was a Hebrew and Greek scholar who translated the Bible into Marathi. 

Application: Did God bring some godly men into your life? Are you such a father figure to someone who didn’t have one? Nicole’s dad was such a father figure in my life.

Paul filled this role of a father in Timothy’s life. We see this clearly in the 2 letters he wrote to him. 1 and 2 Timothy are referred to as the Pastoral letters. I like to call them the Parental letters. Let’s look at just a few of his statements to Timothy in his 2 letters to him. This should teach us how we need to fulfill our calling as a father or a father figure to the children God has biologically or spiritually given to us.

1. Confidence – 1 Timothy 1:18“This charge I commit to you, son Timothy, according to the prophecies previously made concerning you, that by them you may wage the good warfare.”

2. Church – 1 Timothy 3:15“…I writeso that you may know how you ought to conduct yourself in the house of God, which is the church of the living God, the pillar and ground of the truth.”

3. Self-respect – 1 Timothy 4     12“Let no one despise your youth, but be an example to the believers in word, in conduct, in love, in spirit, in faith, in purity.”

4. Communication – 1 Timothy 5      1“Do not rebuke an older man, but exhorthimas a father, younger men as brothers, 2older women as mothers, younger women as sisters, with all purity.”

5. Flee Sin and Chase Righteousness – 1 Timothy 6     11“But you, O man of God, flee these things and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, patience, gentleness. 12Fight the good fight of faith, lay hold on eternal life…”

6. Relationship with Christ – 2 Timothy 2:1“You therefore, my son, be strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus.”

7. Endurance – 2 Timothy 2      3“You therefore must endure hardship as a good soldier of Jesus Christ. 4No one engaged in warfare entangles himself with the affairs of thislife, that he may please him who enlisted him as a soldier. 5And also if anyone competes in athletics, he is not crowned unless he competes according to the rules. 6The hardworking farmer must be first to partake of the crops.”

8. Focused – 2 Timothy 2     23But avoid foolish and ignorant disputes, knowing that they generate strife. 24And a servant of the Lord must not quarrel but be gentle to all, able to teach, patient, 25in humility correcting those who are in opposition…”

9. Avoid bad company – 2 Timothy 3     1“But know this, that in the last days perilous times will come: 2For men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, 3unloving, unforgiving, slanderers, without self-control, brutal, despisers of good, 4traitors, headstrong, haughty, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, 5having a form of godliness but denying its power. And from such people turn away!”

10. Example – 2 Timothy 3     10“But you have carefully followed my doctrine, manner of life, purpose, faith, longsuffering, love, perseverance, 11persecutions, afflictions, which happened to me at Antioch, at Iconium, at Lystra—what persecutions I endured. And out ofthemall the Lord delivered me. 12Yes, and all who desire to live godly in Christ Jesus will suffer persecution.”

Here’s one more that tells us how protective Paul was over Timothy.

11. Protector –1 Corinthians 16:10“And if Timothy comes, see that he may be with you without fear; for he does the work of the Lord, as I alsodo. 11Therefore let no one despise him. But send him on his journey in peace, that he may come to me; for I am waiting for him with the brethren.”

Invitation:Have you been the father you were called to be? Are you being the father God has called you to be? Have you been grateful to the father (biological or spiritual) that God placed in your life? Is God your Heavenly Father? Its only through Christ that he can be.

Train Up a Child (Article) by Abidan Paul Shah

TRAIN UP A CHILD (Article) by Abidan Paul Shah

(Published in the newspaper Daily Dispatch, Henderson on March 31, 2018)

Proverbs 22:6 “Train up a child in the way he (she) should go, and when he (she) is old he (she) will not depart from it.”

Train Up a Child (1)The world is upside down. We have become W.B. Rands’ “Topsy-Turvy World” where “three times one was nine…the pony rode his master…the cats were afraid of the mouse…and the mamma sold her baby.” Now right is wrong and wrong is your right. The good guys are the bad guys and the bad guys are the heroes. Sin is freedom and morality is intolerance. As the late pastor Adrian Rogers would say, “sin that use to slink down the back alley now struts down the main street.”

As bad as all that is, we’ve hit a new low when children are being made to lecture adults on what’s right and what’s wrong! Now kids are being held up as spokespersons and activists against time-honored foundational values. There are some who are celebrating this but I believe that it will prove to be devastating to our kids as well as to our society and future. It is no different than giving those same kids a wire-stripper and setting them loose in an electrical panel or giving them a scalpel and letting them do critical surgery.

Train Up a Child (2)Don’t think for a moment that I am talking down about children. To the contrary, I am repulsed by the adage – “Children are to be seen and not heard.” Jesus welcomed children. He compared the reception of his kingdom to the humility of a child. He threatened those who would hurt children with the severest punishment. Repeatedly, the Bible commands us to treat children with the utmost respect and care. This requires that we understand that what they truly deserve and desire from us is right training. Proverbs 22:6 lays out the 4 non-negotiables in this process:

  1. The Child – The Hebrew word is “nahar,” which can mean anywhere from an unborn child to a young person. From the context, it is obvious that the training has to begin as early as possible. Delay in training will diminish the promise. Children are like a garden. The longer you let it go, the harder it is get it back.
  2. The Way – There are only 2 ways in life. The first is God’s Way and the second is the Sinful Way. One leads to life and the other to destruction. Once on the right way, you cannot keep going back to the wrong way and still expect to get to your destination.
  3. The Training – Read Deuteronomy 6:6-9. It is not a one-time event but a 24/7 job. It is not accidental but intentional. It is not irrational but logical. It is not authoritarian but empathetic. It is not cherry picked but balanced. It is not harsh but firm. It is not disheartened but patient.
  4. The Trainer – Training is more caught than taught. In other words, it’s not enough to just preach at your kids. You have to practice what you preach. Doing immoral and unethical things and warning your kids not to does not work. Dropping your kids off at church as you squeal your tires out of the parking lot does not cut it. As someone wisely said, “whatever you do in moderation, your children will do in excess.” You want your kids to follow Christ, then you follow him. If you do those 4 non-negotiables correctly, then only the promise is that those kids may lose their way but they will be back.

If Neil Postman was right that “Children are the living messages we send to a time we will not see,” what message are we giving to our kids? I see a bright future ahead as more and more parents are rising up and taking their rightful roles as trainers and models to their kids.

%d bloggers like this: