Parents Behaving Badly by Pastor Abidan Shah

PARENTS BEHAVING BADLY by Pastor Shah, Clearview Church, Henderson

Parents Behaving Badly

Introduction: I don’t know how your kids are but our kids love to hear stories about Nicole and I growing up. They love hearing about how mommy loved climbing trees and walking on top of the swing set instead of swinging on it. They love hearing stories of how dad tried joining the circus at five and ended up with a broken collarbone. Last week they were up laughing until midnight as we told them those stories from our childhood. I guess the thought of their parents acting crazy or getting in trouble brings comfort and joy to them! But what if those stories were still happening? What if Nicole was still walking on top of swings and I was still breaking collarbones trying to join the circus? That would not be funny anymore but embarrassing and painful, especially for the kids. Today’s message on the family is what to do about “PARENTS BEHAVING BADLY.”

Genesis 38   12   Now in the process of time…Judah’s wife, died…and (he) went up to his sheepshearers at Timnah…13 And it was told Tamar, saying, “Look, your father-in-law is going up to Timnah to shear his sheep.” 14 So she took off her widow’s garments, covered herself with a veil…and sat in an open place which was on the way to Timnah…15 When Judah saw her, he thought she was a harlot, because she had covered her face. 16 Then he turned to her by the way…

Question: God has appointed parents to lead their children, to be a model for them. He has designed them to be emotionally more mature than their kids. He has called them to be the standard of morality and integrity for them. He has entrusted parents to be the spiritual guides for their children. Unfortunately, some parents are emotionally unstable, morally objectionable, and spiritually incapable. Sometimes they make decisions and do things that are embarrassing and distressing for the children. It reverses God’s hierarchy and design for the family. How are your parents? Do you look up to them or do you shake your head at them? Do you admire them or are you ashamed of them? Some of you may not need this message but others know very well what I am talking about and it is very painful for you. Do your parents know Christ as their Savior? Do you? This message will help you relate with parents behaving badly.

Context of the Message: In our series on the family of Abraham and Sarah from the Book of Genesis, we now come to the fourth generation, to Judah, one of the sons of Jacob. He did something unthinkable. He had sexual relations with his own daughter-in-law who tricked him by dressing up as a prostitute. What in the world is going on! First, why would a daughter-in-law trick her father-in-law in such a horrible way? Second, why would a grown man, coming from a family that loves God, go to a prostitute? To understand this, we have to back up to the opening verses of Genesis 38:1 “It came to pass at that time that Judah departed from his brothers…” If you’ve been keeping up with this series, we skipped over chapter 37 that gives us the account of Joseph and his brothers, how Joseph had his dreams and his brothers hated him for that and one day when they had the opportunity, they sold him into slavery. Who was the brother who suggested this? It was Judah. He probably did that to save his brother’s life. The other brothers were bent on killing Joseph. Selling him into slavery seemed to be a much better alternative. At least, Joseph would still be alive. But, can you imagine the guilt and the shame Judah had to live with? He could still hear the shrieks and the cries of Joseph as he was being dragged away by the Midianite traders. The first thought when he woke up and the last thought when he lay down to sleep was “I wonder if he’s still alive…” Every day he had to see the tear-stained face of his father Jacob and every time he was tempted to just confess to him, one of the brothers would shake his head at Judah – “You better not…” Judah was probably angry, depressed, and miserable. He did not want to see their faces anymore and instead of confessing, he packed up and moved away.

Principle: Judah moved away because he thought that a change in location was going to change everything. Out of sight, out of mind. People do that all the time and they fail to realize that they are still the common ingredients in all their problems. Unconfessed sin always brings only unending sorrow. Listen to David’s prayer of confession in Psalm 32   3 “When I kept silent, my bones grew old through my groaning all the day long. 4 For day and night Your hand was heavy upon me; My vitality was turned into the drought of summer.” Secret guilt will only lead to ceaseless grief, regardless of your location. Charles Spurgeon once said, “Now, it happens with some that, though they are conscious of sin, they do not confess it; and what is the result? Why, it increases their misery. It is impossible that you should find peace while sin continues to gather in your soul. It is a festering wound…So long as a man continues silent before God, and does not own his sin, if the Lord really has begun to deal with him, he will have to suffer more and more from the pangs of conscience.”

Judah married a Canaanite girl in this new place. There is no love mentioned in this relationship. He met her, married her, had sexual relationship with her, and they had 3 children – Er, Onan, and Shelah. Just like his marriage, nothing is mentioned about his relationship with his children. In verse 6 he arranged a marriage for Er, his oldest one, with a girl named Tamar. Bottom line: Judah was living a ho-hum life…until his actions from his previous life began to catch up with his present life. Listen to verse 7But Er, Judah’s firstborn, was wicked in the sight of the LORD, and the LORD killed him.” The Bible doesn’t say what he did but it must have been serious enough for God to kill him, something he hasn’t done since the days of Sodom and Gomorrah.

Nothing is said about how Judah felt about this. All it says is that he ordered his second son Onan to marry Tamar and have a child with her according to levirate marriage, where the brother-in-law marries the widow of his brother to keep the family name going (Levir in Latin means “brother-in-law). Onan married Tamar but secretly deceived her and refused to have a child with her. Listen to verse 10 “And the thing which he did displeased the LORD; therefore He killed him also.” Wow! Why that serious? More than likely Onan didn’t want to give his brother any children. If he did, then he would lose his default inheritance. What he didn’t realize is that he was interfering with God’s plan of using the family of Abraham and Sarah to be a blessing to all the families of the earth. He was interfering with the gospel. I seriously doubt that in his guilt and shame Judah ever took the time to explain to his children the promise God had made to their family.

Question: How often do you talk to your children about the things of God? How often do you explain to them that the reason for your success is God’s hand upon you? How often do you challenge and encourage them to keep God first in their lives? Something else here – God was teaching Judah, “You took someone’s child. Now you’ll know what it means to lose a child.” Only sad part is that Tamar, the innocent bystander, was also suffering because of Judah’s sin from his previous life. Are your decisions bringing pain to some innocent person in your life?

Unfortunately, Judah did not learn his lesson. He continued his life of deception. He refused to let his third son Shelah marry Tamar for fear that he too might die. So he lied to Tamar and told her that once Shelah was older, he would marry her. Until then, she should go back to her parent’s house. He was thinking that with time she would forget or remarry someone back home and it’ll all be over. In the meantime, Judah’s wife also died. After grieving for her, he decided to go to Timnah at the sheep-shearing time. Tamar heard about it and embarked on a cruel scheme. We read this passage. She disguised herself as a prostitute, covered her face with a veil, and sat seductively at Enaim (lit. at the “opening of the eyes,” which could be the crossroads). Apparently, she knew her father-in-law very well. Sure enough he came by, saw her but didn’t recognize her. He made a proposition to her and she agreed for a young goat. As guarantee, he left his seal, cord, and staff with her. Here’s my question: What business did Judah have to go to a prostitute? He probably felt entitled to some good time. You can hear him say, “People don’t understand what I’ve been through. I just don’t care anymore. I’m not hurting anyone…”

Question: Do you use the same lines to indulge in sin? Do you feel entitled to sin because of all that you’ve been through? No matter what you’ve been through or what anyone has done to you, you are never entitled to sin.

Anyways, things are about to get complicated. Judah sent the young goat as he had promised but there was no prostitute. Judah didn’t care. “Let her keep it,” he said. But 3 months later, word got back to Judah that Tamar, his daughter-in-law, was pregnant. The cause was prostitution. Listen to his response: “Bring her out and let her be burned!”

Principle: Show me a person who is very legalistic and harsh about some sin and I’ll show you a person who is hiding a bigger similar dirty secret. The penalty for adultery later, according to the Mosaic Law, was death by stoning not burning. Reminds you of David when he stole Uriah’s wife and had him killed, doesn’t it? Don’t misunderstand, Moses, Jesus, and Paul were all hard against sin but it was always with a broken heart.

You know what happened next: Tamar sent word to her father-in-law that the man was the owner of the signet, the cord, and the staff. Judah immediately knew his guilt. He confessed. Long story short – Tamar had twins and the oldest one (Perez) became part of the genealogy of Christ. Matthew included this fact in his gospel to let people know that Mary was not the first one looked down upon in the birth of the Messiah. In other words, God worked all things together for good once again in his people’s life.

It is truly a sad sight when adults, especially parents behave badly. Here are some suggestions on what to do in those situations:

  • Know that they are just fallen human beings like yourself
  • Don’t put them on a pedestal nor fail to show them grace
  • Obey their godly teachings without following their ungodly examples
  • Remember that you are not to be blamed for your parents’ choices
  • Pray for them, especially if they do not know Christ

I Corinthians 6   9 Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, 10 nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God. 11 And such were some of you. But you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus and by the Spirit of our God.

  • Trust that God will work all things together for good

Most importantly, be Christ-like and Christ-filled.

JERUSALEM – THREE LESSONS, ONE GRAND VIEW (Article) by Abidan Paul Shah,

JERUSALEM – THREE LESSONS, ONE GRAND VIEW – Article by Abidan Paul Shah

(Published in the newspaper Daily Dispatch, Henderson on February 6, 2016)

Mount Scopus, Jerusalem, Israel

Mount Scopus, Jerusalem, Israel (All images © 2016 Abidan and Nicole Shah)

I’m standing atop Mount Scopus in Jerusalem. The view is mind blowing! Before me lies the city whose history goes back to over 4000 years. Jerusalem has bewitched both conquerors and pilgrims through the centuries. Even today, it is the most contended ground on the face of the earth. Someone called it – “the hottest piece of real estate on the planet.” But my view is different. I don’t find any magical lure or spiritual power in her presence, just lessons of deep significance. Three such landmarks stand out for me:

  1. The Temple Mount – the gleam of the golden Dome of the Rock immediately draws my attention. It’s the site of Mount Moriah, where Abraham took Isaac to be sacrificed as a test of his faith. God accepted his willingness and gave him the glimpse of His Son
    The Temple Mount, Jerusalem, Israel

    The Temple Mount, Jerusalem, Israel (All images © 2016 Abidan and Nicole Shah)

    to come. Later David purchased the site from the Jebusites and Solomon built the temple on the very ground. On the third day I actually visited the Temple Mount for the first time. Although it was breathtaking, I could also sense the tension all around. As much as I loved the experience, I’m grateful that through Christ no longer is my access to God limited by a plot of land but we can come “boldly to the throne of grace.” (Hebrews 4:16)

  2. The City of David – between the Tyropoeon Valley on the west and Kidron valley to the east is the place that David chose to be his
    City of David, Jerusalem, Israel

    City of David, Jerusalem, Israel (All images © 2016 Abidan and Nicole Shah)

    capital. It is actually outside the walls of Jerusalem. I couldn’t help but visualize David walking on the terrace of his palace while his army had gone into battle. Down below he saw Bathsheba bathing. Instead of walking away, this “man after God’s own heart” gave into the sin of adultery. But he didn’t stop there. He even had her husband brutally murdered. Although David had to suffer the consequence of his sins, God still showed him mercy and grace. It reminded me that no one was immune to the temptation of sin and I resolved to God – “Your word I have hidden in my heart, that I might not sin against You.” (Psalm 119:11)

  3. The Church of the Holy Sepulchre – Unfortunately, this structure does not outshine the surrounding buildings. In fact, one really has to search for the most important site in Christianity – the place where Jesus was crucified, buried, and resurrected. Inside, it is
    Church of the Holy Sepulchre, Jerusalem, Israel

    Church of the Holy Sepulchre, Jerusalem, Israel (All images © 2015 Abidan and Nicole Shah)

    gaudy and stale and I never cease to be amazed at the blind devotions of the tourists, kissing the ground and attempting to gain some divine favor. If that’s not enough, it’s always fascinating and revolting to watch the different groups trying to control their piece of the shrine. It’s tragic…but a great illustration of human nature. We cling to our blind rituals. We remain divided over trivial stuff. We lose sight of the heart of the gospel. To me, the ground is historical not sacred. Only Christ and His work for us deserve our utmost devotion. Peter offers a stark warning, “Therefore, to you who believe, He is precious; but to those who are disobedient, ‘The stone which the builders rejected has become the chief cornerstone.’” (1 Peter 2:7)

As I’m about to walk back to our van, I turn to catch one last glimpse of the gorgeous panorama of the capital of the world and I’m reminded that one day all of it will be remade. Revelation 21 2 Then I, John, saw the holy city, New Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from heaven saying, “Behold, the tabernacle of God is with men, and He will dwell with them, and they shall be His people. God Himself will be with them and be their God. And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.” What a glorious hope!

Keeping Intimacy in Marriage Part Six

KEEPING INTIMACY IN MARRIAGE – 6 by Pastor Shah, Clearview Church, Henderson

intimacy6

Today is our final message in this series called KEEPING INTIMACY IN MARRIAGE. Again, I’m amazed at how much you loved these messages and passed it along to friends and family! It tells us that there is a great hunger for truth about marriage and family.

Matthew 5   27 “You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ 28 But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 29 If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell. 30 And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell.

Overall Background: The passage we just read troubled me a lot growing up. As a little boy, I remember my dad preaching on it several times and each time it left me more confused and worried and afraid. Why? Because I seriously thought that by the time I was 6 or 7, I’d be blind and by the time I was 10, I’d have both my hands chopped off. I would actually wonder – I know I can use my left hand to chop off my right hand but then how about my left hand? Maybe I can use my feet or maybe get a friend to do it. What in the world is Jesus talking about when he says – 29 “If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell. 30 And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and cast it from you…”

If there’s one sin that God takes very seriously, probably more than others, it is sexual sins. If there’s one sin that human beings do not take very seriously, it is sexual sins. We blame everything and everyone, other than ourselves. Unfortunately, the consequences are devastating and the penalty is severe.

Question: How seriously do you take sexual sins? How seriously do you take the sins of the body? Do you understand the tremendous consequences that follow sexual sins? Do you understand God’s wrath against sexual sins? Are you saved?

3 questions we’re going to answer about marriage from this passage:

QUESTION #1 – SHOULD WE PRACTICE SELF-MORTIFICATION? NO.

People throughout the history of the church have misunderstood this passage. A great example was the church father by the name of Origen from Alexandria, Egypt. First he tried to roll naked over sharp briars but when that didn’t work, he actually had himself castrated. Later on he was sorry that he had made that decision. Some circles still practice flagellations and wear cilices. Is this what Jesus was saying in this passage? The first thing to keep in mind is that self-mutilation is forbidden in the Bible. Deuteronomy 14:1 “You are the children of the LORD your God; you shall not cut yourselves…”

What exactly is Jesus saying in this passage? To answer this question, you have to understand the moral setting in the time of Jesus. Things weren’t much different than today. Most Greeks and Romans strongly condemned adultery. To say that someone was adulterous was considered a big insult. It was thought of as stealing. After all, a wife was considered to be a husband’s property. Looking at many of the ancient plays and dramas of the time, even the common public looked down upon adultery. Jewish people, especially, strongly condemned adultery. It was considered shameful.

Having said that, adultery was quite common back then. The Roman philosopher Seneca says that those who do not practice adultery stand out. Even the Jewish people had become more and more like their neighbors. They knew that the punishment for adultery was death by stoning but hardly anyone practiced it. That’s why when Joseph found out that Mary was with child, he decided to put her away quietly.

When Jesus was preaching against adultery, He knew what they were thinking. “Yeah, it’s wrong but that’s just the fact of life. Sometimes you just can’t help it. (Wink, Wink, Nudge, Nudge) It’s not really me but my flesh.” It’s like the little girl who got caught with cookie crumbs all over her face. Her mom said, “Did you get in the cookie jar?” To which she replied, “I was just walking by and my teeth got caught in the cookie jar.” What Jesus was saying was, “Oh so it’s not you but your eye and your hand that made you sin? Then why don’t you just pluck out your eye and chop off your hand.”

Question: Whom do you blame for your sin life? Do you blame your flesh or the world? Did the Devil make you do it? Do you take responsibility for your sin life?

QUESTION #2 – CAN SEXUAL SINS SEND US TO HELL? NO.

Twice Jesus says, “for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell.” Even though we know that Jesus is being sarcastic, it still sounds like he’s saying, “If you don’t deal with sexual sins, you’ll go to hell.” Some people have used this passage to claim that – You can lose your salvation and go to hell if you fail to repent from adultery. Not true.

Background: God’s people throughout the ages have been distinct when it comes to how they view marriage. They looked upon it as a sacred institution given by God and should be lived and enjoyed with holiness and fear. Adultery was a mark of unbelievers. Not only did God institute strict penalty against it but also repeatedly he chastised His people to stay away from it.

Jeremiah 7   9 Will you steal, murder, commit adultery, swear falsely, burn incense to Baal, and walk after other gods whom you do not know, 10 and then come and stand before Me in this house which is called by My name, and say, “We are delivered to do all these abominations’? 11 Has this house, which is called by My name, become a den of thieves in your eyes? Behold, I, even I, have seen it,” says the LORD.

Malachi 2 13 And this is the second thing you do: You cover the altar of the LORD with tears, With weeping and crying; So He does not regard the offering anymore, Nor receive it with goodwill from your hands. 14 Yet you say, “For what reason?” Because the LORD has been witness Between you and the wife of your youth, With whom you have dealt treacherously; Yet she is your companion And your wife by covenant.

Proverbs 6 32 Whoever commits adultery with a woman lacks understanding; He who does so destroys his own soul. 33 Wounds and dishonor he will get, And his reproach will not be wiped away.

What Jesus was saying is “When will you realize that God hates adultery? How long are you going to keep making excuses for your sin? Don’t you know that people going to Hell act this way? When will you start taking sin seriously and repent before God?”

Listen to Paul in I Corinthians 6   9 Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, 10 nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God. But just when you think you cannot be saved, listen to the next verse – 11 And such were some of you. But you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus and by the Spirit of our God.

Application: God is asking the same questions to each of us today – “When will we realize how terrible adultery is?” “Don’t you know that people going to Hell act this way?” Do you feel good about your behavior?

QUESTION #3 – ARE SEXUAL SINS WORSE THAN OTHER SINS? YES.

Background: Why are sexual sins so bad in the sight of God? God places a very high value on our bodies. Remember – Unlike the rest of the creation that God simply said, “let there be” and there it was; He actually made us in His image. Man and woman was the crown of God’s creation. Keep in mind that God is spirit who sees, hears, touches, and speaks. He made us to be just like him, to see, hear, touch, and speak, but with a bodily form. Somehow, God transferred His spiritual, eternal characteristics into a physical, tangible form. It’s mind blowing! Why? Because God wanted us to enjoy life! God could have made us just spirit but He wanted us to see and feel and touch and speak and connect in marriage. The human body is an amazing gift of God! It is God’s masterpiece and why not! After all, one day He would have to design one for His own Son!

Listen carefully – God holds the copyright and the title to every single human body. It belongs to Him. For us to misuse it is to misuse someone else’s property. Imagine if you loaned me a very expensive torque wrench and I decided to misuse and abuse it to drive a nail. What would you do? Hand it over. That’s why murder is punishable by death. Who gave you the right to end that body? That’s why abortion and euthanasia is wrong. That’s why adultery is so wrong because it defiles the body that is not yours to defile. Hence in the Old Testament it was punishable by death.

Listen to Paul in 1 Corinthians 6   18 Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. Then to the Christian – 19 Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? 20 For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s.

Application: What do you think about your body? Do you know that it is someone else’s property? What do you think about the body of another person, man or woman? Do you know that it too belongs to God?

The bigger question is – What do you do? Some Christians say – Didn’t Paul say in I Corinthians 9:27 I “beat my body into submission” and in Colossians 3:5 “put to death your members which are on the earth: fornication, uncleanness, passion, evil desire…” I remind them to read a few verses earlier in Colossians 2   20 Therefore, if you died with Christ from the basic principles of the world, why, as though living in the world, do you subject yourselves to regulations— 21 “Do not touch, do not taste, do not handle,” 3:1 If then you were raised with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ is, sitting at the right hand of God. 2 Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth. 3 For you died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. It’s not about gouging out your eye and chopping off your hand, it is about your eye and your hand and all of you belonging to Christ.

Application: Does your body belong to Christ? If you are saved, then you have been bought with a price. Is the Holy Spirit in control of your body? Are you saved?

Keeping Intimacy in Marriage Part Five

KEEPING INTIMACY IN MARRIAGE – 5 by Pastor Shah, Clearview Church, Henderson

intimacy5We are in part 5 of our miniseries KEEPING INTIMACY IN MARRIAGE. Many of you ask me about how to get copies of the messages. Either you can order CD’s through the email in the bulletin or visit our website or sign up for the Clearview podcast.

Matthew 5   27 “You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ 28 But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 29 If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell. 30 And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell.

Overall Background: Last week, we looked at how Potiphar’s wife, a pagan Egyptian woman, tried to seduce Joseph. Today we will look someone who was anything but pagan. In fact, he was known as “a man after God’s own heart.” As a young boy, he had courage enough to face a giant. As a young king, he had charisma enough to unite all the tribes of Israel. As the sweet psalmist of Israel, he had spiritual capability to write Psalm 23 and half the psalms in the Old Testament. But, in a moment of lust and weakness and pride, he threw away his conscience and his character and became worse than an infidel. Of course, we’re talking about King David.

Here’s a statement – when the world messes up, it’s understandable. I didn’t say it’s right, just understandable. But, when a Christian messes up, it’s unbelievable. You say – “That’s not fair.” You’re right but it’s still the fact. No wonder Jesus said in verse 29 If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it from you…” Next week we’ll look at this in detail but for now the message is – “Adultery is a serious sin. Serious enough to take whatever precautions you can to save yourself from it.”

Questions: How seriously do you take the sin of adultery? How seriously do you take the sin of adultery as a Christian? Remember – it’s not just the act but also the thought. Do you realize the tremendous consequences that follow your decisions? Do you hear the voice of the Holy Spirit when you inch towards adultery? If not, you need to get saved.

This morning we’re going to look at the account of King David and Bathsheba and learn how easy it is for a Christian to fall into this sin and how awful are the consequences. But we will also learn that there is forgiveness and restoration through Christ. Again, married or single, this message is for all of us.

 I. FROM GLANCE TO GAZE

2 Samuel 11   1 It happened in the spring of the year, at the time when kings go out to battle, that David sent Joab and his servants with him, and all Israel; and they destroyed the people of Ammon and besieged Rabbah. But David remained at Jerusalem. I’m sure you’ve heard a message on this before – David was playing hooky instead of leading his army in battle. As the saying goes, “An empty mind is a Devil’s workshop.” 2 Then it happened one evening that David arose from his bed and walked on the roof of the king’s house. And from the roof he saw a woman bathing, and the woman was very beautiful to behold. Last week, I had several men come to me individually and ask me that question – “Is it the first look or the second look?” Meaning: Is it a sin to look at someone who is pretty? Altogether, there are 4 looks:

  • It is normal to look at a person of the opposite sex and think they are beautiful or handsome. That’s not a sin.
  • It is normal to look at a person of the opposite sex and even be tempted. That’s not a sin either. Jesus was tempted but without sin. Ask God to help you think differently of them.
  • It is not okay to look at a person of the opposite sex who is not your spouse and be obsessed by them. That is a sin. If you are married, you should have eyes only for your spouse. If you are single, you should have eyes only for those who are single.
  • It is definitely not okay to look at a person in a way that draws them into your lust. That is definitely a sin. That’s what David tried to do next.

3 So David sent and inquired about the woman. And someone said, “Is this not Bathsheba, the daughter of Eliam, They gave her description as if David was supposed to know her family. Who was Eliam? In 2 Samuel 23 we have a list of David’s elite fighting force – One of them killed 800 men by himself; another killed 300 men; and yet another had killed a lion inside a snow filled pit. One of them was “…Eliam the son of Ahithophel the Gilonite.” (vs. 34) Who was Ahithophel the Gilonite? He was one of David’s advisors. How good was his advice? 2 Samuel 16:23 Now the advice of Ahithophel, which he gave in those days, was as if one had inquired at the oracle of God. Meaning: When Ahithophel spoke, it was as if God spoke. In other words, David knew that Bathsheba came from a very respectable family. He should have left her alone. But there was something much more important about Bathsheba – “Is this not Bathsheba, the daughter of Eliam, the wife of Uriah the Hittite?” Meaning: She was a married woman. By the way, Uriah was also one of David’s elites. He had enough reasons to stop immediately!

Question: What do you do when the Holy Spirit tells you to stop? Do you keep gazing? 1 Corinthians 10:13 No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it. Do you take the way of escape that God sends your way? Do you pray “Lead us not into temptation?”

II. FROM ENTITLEMENT TO MURDER

4 Then David sent messengers, and took her; and she came to him, and he lay with her…”

Background: What began as a harmless glance became a lustful gaze and turned into a disgraceful sin. “Go bring her to me.” How did David justify this? Here are my 3 guesses:

  • Maybe he thought he was doing her a favor. After all, she is married to Uriah the Hittite. Hittites were people from the North in Asia Minor (modern day Turkey). There were also some who had transplanted to the South in Canaan from the time of Abraham. What David had forgotten was that Uriah was not a Hittite name. It was a Hebrew name that meant – “Yahweh is my Light.” Uriah was a convert. In his fit of lust, David did not care.
  • Maybe he thought no one would ever know. All the fighting men are in battle. I can cover it up. Nobody will ever know. By the way, David did an excellent job of hiding it. The punishment for adultery is death by stoning but for that you need at least 2 witnesses. Partly because he was the king but also because no one knew what was happening.
  • Maybe he thought he was entitled to her. After all, he was David the shepherd King, the man who defeated the Philistines. At least, I am way better than Saul. I have done so much for these people. I deserve whatever I want.

What happened next? Bathsheba got pregnant and sent word to David “I am with child.” Instead of repenting before God David went into damage control mode. First, he told his commander Joab to send Uriah home for some R and R. Uriah refused to go home because his men were camped out in the fields. 13 “Now when David called him, he ate and drank before him; and he made him drunk.” Let me say something here – there is a reason why David was not leading his army. He was addicted to the bottle. He seems to be getting wasted. It’s my guess but I believe that David was drunk when he went after Bathsheba. Alcohol dulls your senses. It lowers your fear and insecurities and you do things that you will normally never do in your right mind. Here’s a formula worth remembering – ALCOHOL + OPPORTUNITY = ADULTERY

Finally, he gave order to Joab to put Uriah on the frontline and in the thick of the battle pull back. Just as planned, Uriah died. Listen to verse 26 When the wife of Uriah heard that Uriah her husband was dead, she mourned for her husband.

Application: Do you justify your sins? Do you think you owe it to yourself to indulge in sin? How far will you go to cover up your tracks?

III. FROM DISCIPLINE TO RESTORATION 

27 And when her mourning was over, David sent and brought her to his house, and she became his wife and bore him a son. David was thinking that it was all over and that everything was forgotten. Listen to the last line of that verse – “But the thing that David had done displeased the LORD.” The Bible is unlike any religious book. It never sugarcoats the lives of its heroes. As Alan Redpath would say – “The Bible never flatters its heroes.”

2 Samuel 12:1 Then the LORD sent Nathan to David. Nathan gave David a parable of 2 men – one rich and one poor. The rich had many flocks and herd and the poor had one ewe lamb. It was like a daughter to him. One day the rich man had a visitor. Instead of getting an animal from his own flock, he took the poor man’s only lamb. What do you think David? At this point David responded with anger. Listen to verse 5 So David’s anger was greatly aroused against the man, and he said to Nathan, “As the LORD lives, the man who has done this shall surely die! 6 And he shall restore fourfold for the lamb, because he did this thing and because he had no pity.” Talk about a “Freudian projection.” In psychology, projection means, “you hate something in someone because secretly you know it is in you and you hate it.” God explained it 3000 years before Freud.

Listen to Nathan’s famous line to David in verse 7 “…You are the man! God said – “I made you king of Israel and gave you everything you have but it wasn’t enough.” Here’s the judgment – 10 “…the sword shall never depart from your house, because you have despised Me…11 “…Behold, I will raise up adversity against you from your own house; and I will take your wives before your eyes and give them to your neighbor, and he shall lie with your wives in the sight of this sun. 12 For you did it secretly, but I will do this thing before all Israel, before the sun.’ ” Just as God said, it happened. For one murder, David lost 4 sons: 1. Son of Bathsheba (12:18); 2. Amnon – killed by his brother Absalom (13:28); 3. Absalom was killed in battle (18:14); 4. Adonijah – killed by Solomon (I Kin 2:24-25).

Here’s an old principle – Galatians 6:7 “Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap.” In other words, “what goes around, comes around.”

What is David’s response? 13 So David said to Nathan, “I have sinned against the LORD.”

Psa. 51 1 Have mercy upon me, O God, According to Your lovingkindness…Blot out my transgressions. 2 Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity, And cleanse me from my sin. 3 For I acknowledge my transgressions, And my sin is always before me. 4 Against You, You only, have I sinned, And done this evil in Your sight— 8 Make me hear joy and gladness, That the bones You have broken may rejoice. 10 Create in me a clean heart, O God, And renew a steadfast spirit within me. 11 Do not cast me away from Your presence, And do not take Your Holy Spirit from me. 12             Restore to me the joy of Your salvation, And uphold me by Your generous Spirit. 17 The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit, A broken and a contrite heart—These, O God, You will not despise.

What is God’s answer? “The LORD also has put away your sin; you shall not die. Although the child died, Bathsheba had another child and she called his name Solomon.

Invitation: The only solution to sin is to fall into the hands of God, fall into the hands of Jesus. Do you need to repent today? Are you saved?

Keeping Intimacy in Marriage Part Four

KEEPING INTIMACY IN MARRIAGE – 4 by Pastor Shah, Clearview Church, Henderson

intimacy4Today we are in part 4 of our miniseries KEEPING INTIMACY IN MARRIAGE.

Matthew 5 27 “You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ 28 But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 29 If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell. 30 And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell.

Overall Background: So far we laid out the foundations of marriage. Now we are ready to look at adultery. By the way, the word adultery does not come from the English word “adult.” It actually comes from the Latin word “adulterare,” which means to alter or corrupt. It is a combination of “ad” (towards) and “alter” (other). Adultery means going towards the other person. Sometimes “adulterare” also means “to pollute.” Hence, adultery is the pollution or corruption of marriage. With that in mind, listen to verse 27 “You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ As you know, this is the 7th of the 10 Commandments that God gave to his people. It comes right after murder and right before stealing. God took the sin of adultery very seriously. How seriously? Listen to Deuteronomy 22:22 “If a man is found lying with a woman married to a husband, then both of them shall die—the man that lay with the woman, and the woman; so you shall put away the evil from Israel.” God considered adultery such an evil that it had to be destroyed in order to protect His people.

Now someone may say – “That’s just the Old Testament, the law. The New Testament is all grace under Jesus.” What did Jesus say? Listen to verse 28 “But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” Meaning: In God’s sight, it’s not just the act but even the thought of adultery is just as bad. As I said before, let me say it again – Trusting Jesus as your Savior does not absolve, exempt, or release you from obeying God’s commandments. In fact, Jesus makes it even harder.

Question: What do you think about the sin of adultery? Is it a big deal to you? Keep in mind – we’re not just talking about the act but also the thought of adultery. By Jesus’s standards, are you innocent or are you guilty of this sin? Without the grace of God and the help of the Holy Spirit none of us can stand before God’s standards. You cannot have the Holy Spirit unless you are saved. Are you saved?

This morning we’re going to look at the account of Potiphar’s wife and Joseph and try to understand how adultery is subtle and how you can take steps to safeguard your marriage. Married or single, this message is important for all of us.

I. THE SUBTLETY OF ADULTERY 

Genesis 39:1 Now Joseph had been taken down to Egypt. And Potiphar, an officer of Pharaoh, captain of the guard, an Egyptian, bought him from the Ishmaelites who had taken him down there.

Background: You know the account of Joseph’s life. His brothers were jealous of him and instead of killing him, they sold him to the Midianites/Ishmaelites who brought him to the slave market in Egypt, where an officer of Pharaoh, an Egyptian named Potiphar, bought him. The Bible doesn’t tell us why Potiphar bought him. Unlike his brothers who worked in the field, he was probably just a frail lad. Maybe, Potiphar saw his tear stained face. Maybe, he saw his innocence and his helplessness. Maybe even Potiphar’s wife was with him and she saw the far off look in his eyes and she felt sorry for this poor Semitic boy and wanted to help him. What’s next? 3 And his master saw that the LORD was with him and that the LORD made all he did to prosper in his hand. 4 So Joseph found favor in his sight, and served him. Then he made him overseer of his house, and all that he had he put under his authority. Joseph was a hard-working, honest young man, who had God’s hand on him. Maybe that’s why Potiphar moved him into his house. How much did he trust him? Listen to verse 6 “…he did not know what he had except for the bread which he ate. Joseph was successful but success always comes with a cost. Any time you begin to rise in influence, power, and blessing, watch out. As long as you were on the ground, you were not a target. Now that you are standing up, you’ve become a target.

What happens next? 6 “…Now Joseph was handsome in form and appearance. 7 And it came to pass after these things that his master’s wife cast longing eyes on Joseph…” Typically, Potiphar’s wife is portrayed as a loose, immoral, and manipulative woman. In my opinion, I don’t think it began that way. That phrase – “And it came to pass after these things” – means that it was not immediately that she went after him but over time something developed. Initially, she probably felt sorry for him – poor kid trying to make a living, far away from home, has nobody. She saw watched how hard he worked and how honest he was and her heart went out to him. Maybe, she must have talked to him about his life back home. Maybe, she must have talked to him about her life and marriage. Day in and day out, she was alone with him and one day “she said, ‘Lie with me.’”

Peter Rutter in his book “Sex in the Forbidden Zone” notes that when two people work together in a setting where there is trust and understanding, they begin to develop a sense of closeness, comfort, and even completeness in each other’s presence. Sex is the ultimate form of intimacy. That’s why in time this growth in intimacy can actually lead to sexual desire. In other words, when you work in a close setting with someone, in time it can lead to something more.

Illustration: Unfortunately, I heard about adultery at a very early age. It was in the late 70s when the hippie movement was going on. Some young people got saved and we’re going from place to place preaching the gospel. When they came to our city, we set them up in a big guesthouse and the families in the church took turns providing lunch and dinner for them. It was awesome. One day I had to take some food to the guesthouse and as I was walking by one of the rooms, something caught my eye that did not look normal even at the age of 6-7. There were several guys in that room but I noticed that one of the ladies from the church was in the room, sitting on the lap of one of those young men. I knew who she was. She was one of my friend’s moms, an active family in the church. Later on it all came out and it was bad. It hurt the family, the church family, the young men, and even the testimony of the church before the community.

Adultery is subtle. There are predators and serial cheaters out there but many times that is not the case. Adultery is the result of working in close context over an extended period of time with someone other than your spouse. As a married person, no one should occupy the place of closeness that belongs to your spouse. As a single person, beware if anyone married is putting you in a place that should be occupied only by his/her spouse. That’s why a married man can never be best friends with a single woman and a married woman cannot be best friends with a single guy.

Application: Who are you close to who is not your spouse? Has the Holy Spirit brought someone to your mind? Are you talking to this person about things that you should only be talking to your spouse about? Are you the target? Are you the tool of the enemy?

II. THE CONVICTION AGAINST ADULTERY 

Gen. 39:8   But he refused and said to his master’s wife,

Background: Joseph did not have to fumble and stammer about why he could not indulge in adultery. He had already worked out his reasons. Meaning: He knew this day was coming and he was prepared. Listen to the 3 reasons that he gave:

  1. It is breaking my master’s trust.

“Look, my master does not know what is with me in the house, and he has committed all that he has to my hand. 9 There is no one greater in this house than I, nor has he kept back anything from me but you, because you are his wife. How then can I do this great wickedness,

Joseph knew that Potiphar had been good to him and he could not do this to him. We’re living in an age when people do not have a sense of honor and loyalty. They don’t stop to consider what their momentary decision would do to their family.

Illustration: One afternoon there was a knock on our door. It was one of the ladies from the church. She was crying. I’ll never forget the look of emotional pain and betrayal in her eyes. I called my mom and dad and they sat and talked with her. Again, later on it came out that she had caught her husband cheating on her. It was very sad. Again, it affected that family, the church, and the testimony before the world. I’ll never forget the look of pain and shock and betrayal in our eyes.

  1. It is a sin.

“…How then can I do this great wickedness, and sin…”

Joseph did not call it an affair or a mistake or a one-night stand. He called it sin. We’re living in an age when people call sin by every other name but what it is.

  1. It is against God.

“…How then can I do this great wickedness, and sin against God?”

Joseph was more concerned about the law of God than the law of the land. He knew that one day he would have to stand before the “judge of all the earth.” Listen to Hebrews 13:4 Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.

Question: What convictions do you have in your life? Do you have to wait to decide where you stand on a temptation? Have you set up some safeguard in your marriage? “I’ve never cheated on my wife/husband” Have you thought about it in your mind? Job said in Job 31:1 “I have made a covenant with my eyes; Why then should I look upon a young woman?” What covenant have you made with your eyes?

III. THE ESCAPE FROM ADULTERY 

Genesis 39 10 So it was, as she spoke to Joseph day by day, that he did not heed her, to lie with her or to be with her. 11 But it happened about this time, when Joseph went into the house to do his work, and none of the men of the house was inside, 12 that she caught him by his garment, saying, “Lie with me.” But he left his garment in her hand, and fled and ran outside.

Joseph did not stop to pray and discuss and reason. He ran. There is a time to talk and then there is a time to run. For a Christian it is time to run from sin and to the Holy Spirit.

Does that mean that everything works out perfectly? Probably not. Joseph had to go to prison. But listen to verse 21 But the LORD was with Joseph and showed him mercy, and He gave him favor in the sight of the keeper of the prison.

Application: What do you believe about adultery? Do you have biblical convictions? Do you have the Holy Spirit? Do you know Christ as your Savior

DADS WANTED PART 2

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DADS WANTED – 2 by Pastor Shah, Clearview Church, Henderson

dadswantedparttwoThis weekend we’re again taking a break from our ongoing series on the Sermon on the Mount and completing part two of our message – “DADS WANTED.” As I mentioned last week, this subject is very dear to my heart – more important than being a pastor, more important than being a bible teacher, and it comes next only to my relationship with my wife. It’s my calling to be a dad to my children.

Proverbs 4 10 Hear, my son, and receive my sayings, And the years of your life will be many. 11 I have taught you in the way of wisdom; I have led you in right paths. 12 When you walk, your steps will not be hindered, And when you run, you will not stumble. 13 Take firm hold of instruction, do not let go; Keep her, for she is your life.

Overall Background: 10 Hear, my son, and receive my sayings, And the years of your life will be many. As you know, King Solomon spoke these words to his son Rehoboam. He was teaching him wisdom in the form of proverbs. He was teaching him about long life, hard work, money, honesty, relationships, bad people, and on and on in the form of proverbs. People often ask me – “Aren’t Proverbs more like principles rather than promises? Aren’t they more like general descriptions of life rather than guarantees of blessings?” I often hear that and so I point them to Jeremiah 18:18 which says,“…for the law shall not perish from the priest, nor counsel from the wise, nor the word from the prophet…” There were 3 ways in which God spoke to His people – Law from the Priest, Counsel from the Wise, and Prophecy from the Prophet. They’re all equally important. Proverbs fall under the category of Counsel. Since the word of God endures forever, proverbs also endure forever. But, you have to study them carefully and contextually. You have to study them like diamonds in the rough. Before you can put them in a glass case, they have to be cleaned, cut, and polished. Then, they are worth in the thousands and even millions. So also with these Proverbs – when you truly understand them and apply them, you can wear them like a diamond ring and a gold necklace and they will bring you infinite value.

Last time we looked at the first 5 letters where Solomon warned his son to avoid the wrong crowd, learn to seek wisdom, be merciful and truthful in order to be successful, appreciate discipline, and have a godly heritage. In the remaining 5 letters, he will be teaching his son the dangers of bad company, how to exercise self-control, and (the last 3 letters) how to have a happy marriage.

I said it before and I’ll repeat it again – America is in a crisis today – the crisis of fatherhood. The reason our young people and even adults are doing the things they’re doing is because there is no male in their lives to instruct them, to correct them, and to be there for them. America desperately needs some Solomons.

Application: Are you being the dad you’re supposed to be for your children? Are you teaching them godly wisdom? Are you modeling a godly lifestyle? Are you saved?

Again, 5 Reasons Dads are wanted:

I. DADS ARE WANTED TO TEACH CHILDREN TO CHOOSE THE RIGHT PATH. 

Proverbs 4 10 Hear, my son, and receive my sayings…14 Do not enter the path of the wicked, And do not walk in the way of evil.

Background: The wicked have a path that has been used for centuries. Just like some of our interstates today are sitting on the wagon trails that were actually used by the Indians before them. For centuries people have been walking on those paths and now they have become trails and roads and interstates. So also the paths of the wicked – people have been walking a certain way for centuries and thus the way of evil.

Solomon warns his son – 15 Avoid it, do not travel on it; Turn away from it and pass on. 16 For they do not sleep unless they have done evil; And their sleep is taken away unless they make someone fall. 17 For they eat the bread of wickedness, And drink the wine of violence. 18 But the path of the just is like the shining sun, That shines ever brighter unto the perfect day. 19 The way of the wicked is like darkness; They do not know what makes them stumble.

Application: Dads – do you take the time to teach your children about dangers of the wicked path? Are you walking in the wicked path?

II. DADS ARE WANTED TO TEACH CHILDREN SELF-CONTROL. 

Background: Now Solomon is telling his son – “Son, you have an enemy and it is YOU!”

First enemy: YOUR HEART – 23 Keep your heart with all diligence, (Keep – mismar. It means a prison or standing guard.) For out of it spring the issues of life. As Jesus said in Matthew 15:19 19For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies.

Second enemy: YOUR MOUTH – 24 Put away from you a deceitful mouth, And put perverse lips far from you. As Jesus said in Matthew 15:11 11Not what goes into the mouth defiles a man; but what comes out of the mouth, this defiles a man.”

We shape our words and then our words shape us. If you don’t like where you are headed, change the way you talk. Many of us are speaking our world into existence.

Third enemy: YOUR EYES – 25 Let your eyes look straight ahead, And your eyelids look right before you. Jesus said in Matthew 6:22-23 22“The lamp of the body is the eye. If therefore your eye is good, your whole body will be full of light. 23But if your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If therefore the light that is in you is darkness, how great is that darkness! Avoid looking at the forbidden fruit. That’s when Eve fell.

Fourth enemy: YOUR FEET – 26 Ponder the path of your feet, And let all your ways be established. 27 Do not turn to the right or the left; Remove your foot from evil.

Bottom line: Children have to be taught self-control and fathers are given that responsibility.

Application: Dads – Are you teaching your children to exercise self-control? Do you have self-control in your life? Remember – it is the fruit of the Spirit.

Now we come to the last 3 letters. They all address the same issue – Adultery. Would you agree that this is a big issue? Last week as I was looking at my newsfeed, I saw the headlines mega-church pastor resigns because of adultery. When I saw the name, my heart just sank. I couldn’t believe it. Not him. But sadly it was true. This subject is so important that Solomon devotes all 3 letters to it! Even though much of what he says overlaps, each letter has a distinct truth that needs to be emphasized.

III. DADS ARE WANTED TO TEACH CHILDREN THE DANGERS OF ADULTEROUS TALK. 

Proverbs 5 1 My son, pay attention to my wisdom; Lend your ear to my understanding, 2 That you may preserve discretion, And your lips may keep knowledge.

Background: Lips represent our words. Solomon is telling his son, “Watch out for your words.” In other words, “Don’t be impulsive and indiscreet in how you talk to the opposite sex.”

Did you know that most adulterous relationships begin not with the eyes but with the words? Something as seemingly harmless as “Boy, you look pretty. I hope your husband appreciates you.” Or for ladies – “If my husband was as nice as you…” Before you know it – there is an affair.

Who better to talk about this than Solomon! He had a way with words. He was a wordsmith. If you don’t believe that, read the Song of Solomon.

But there’s more – 3 For the lips of an immoral woman drip honey, And her mouth is smoother than oil; Meaning: Not only watch out for your own words but also watch out for the words of the immoral man or woman. They know how to use seductive words. Just like honey, their words our sticky and they fall one drop at a time (literally). They are relentless. Just like oil, her words are smooth and slippery.

Listen to what James 3:2 For we all stumble in many things. If anyone does not stumble in word, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle the whole body. Meaning: If we can control your words, we can control our actions.

Application: Dads – what kind of words do you use around your children? How do you talk to your wife, their mother? They’re learning. How you talk to people on the outside?

IV. DADS ARE WANTED TO TEACH CHILDREN THE DANGERS OF ADULTEROUS THOUGHTS.

Proverbs 6 20 My son, keep your father’s command, And do not forsake the law of your mother…24 To keep you from the evil woman, From the flattering tongue of a seductress. 25 Do not lust after her beauty in your heart, Nor let her allure you with her eyelids.

Background: Now Solomon is going a step beyond and talking about lust. It involves thinking and daydreaming about the other person. Now you are in dangerous territory. When you begin to entertain and picture yourself with that person, it’s a matter of time before you fall headfirst into adultery.

What is the antidote? Remember the consequences that will follow if you keep on that path. 26 For by means of a harlot A man is reduced to a crust of bread; And an adulteress will prey upon his precious life. 27 Can a man take fire to his bosom, And his clothes not be burned? 28 Can one walk on hot coals, And his feet not be seared? 29 So is he who goes in to his neighbor’s wife; Whoever touches her shall not be innocent. 32 Whoever commits adultery with a woman lacks understanding; He who does so destroys his own soul. 33 Wounds and dishonor he will get, And his reproach will not be wiped away. 34 For jealousy is a husband’s fury; Therefore he will not spare in the day of vengeance.

Think about the consequences of adultery – destroy your marriage, destroy your children, destroy your testimony, and destroy the work of the church.

Application: Dads – do you take the time to warn your children about the dangers of delving in lust? Is there lust in your heart? When was the last time you repented before God?

V. DADS ARE WANTED TO TEACH CHILDREN THE DANGERS OF ADULTEROUS TRAPS.

Proverbs 7 1 My son, keep my words, And treasure my commands within you…6 For at the window of my house I looked through my lattice, 7 And saw among the simple, I perceived among the youths, A young man devoid of understanding, 8 Passing along the street near her corner; And he took the path to her house 9 In the twilight, in the evening, In the black and dark night. 10            And there a woman met him, With the attire of a harlot, and a crafty heart. 11 She was loud and rebellious, Her feet would not stay at home. 12 At times she was outside, at times in the open square, Lurking at every corner. 13 So she caught him and kissed him…21 With her enticing speech she caused him to yield, With her flattering lips she seduced him. 22 Immediately he went after her, as an ox goes to the slaughter, Or as a fool to the correction of the stocks, 23 Till an arrow struck his liver. As a bird hastens to the snare, He did not know it would cost his life. 24 Now therefore, listen to me, my children; Pay attention to the words of my mouth: 25 Do not let your heart turn aside to her ways, Do not stray into her paths; 26 For she has cast down many wounded, And all who were slain by her were strong men. 27 Her house is the way to hell, Descending to the chambers of death.

No one wakes up one morning and says, “I’m going to commit adultery.” It’s a word here, a thought there, and a step taken towords sin. If you think it’s not going to happen to you, think again. You will have to decide in your heart where you stand with lust. If the most beautiful and compatible woman were to walk in this room, what will you do? What if you feel that this is the one that you were supposed to be with? What if you feel a connection? What if you feel that you can be yourself around this one? It’s the lie of the devil. You are like an ox going to the slaughter. Wake up!

We need fathers who will not only talk about these things to their children but also live it out before them. We need fathers who are born again Christians. We need fathers who live by the Holy Spirit. We need fathers who are obedient to Jesus Christ and his word. We need fathers who are about the mission that God has given them to seek and to save that which was lost. We need fathers after God’s own heart.

Are you the father? Are you saved?

WHO IS IN YOUR FAMILY TREE? – 4

WHO IS IN YOUR FAMILY TREE? – 4 by Pastor Shah, Clearview Church, Henderson

whose in your family treeWe are in our miniseries through the genealogy of Jesus called “WHO IS IN YOUR FAMILY TREE?” So far we have seen the first three “not so illustrious” characters in the lineage of Jesus – Tamar, Rahab, and Ruth. Now we come to the fourth one – Bathsheba. All of us have failed at some point in our lives or we have fallen victim to someone else’s failure. This message will help us realize that no matter what – God’s grace is available to all of us.

Matthew 1:5-7, 15-16 5 Salmon begot Boaz by Rahab, Boaz begot Obed by Ruth, Obed begot Jesse, 6 and Jesse begot David the king. David the king begot Solomon by her who had been the wife of Uriah. 7 Solomon begot Rehoboam, Rehoboam begot Abijah, and Abijah begot Asa….15 Eliud begot Eleazar, Eleazar begot Matthan, and Matthan begot Jacob. 16 And Jacob begot Joseph the husband of Mary, of whom was born Jesus who is called Christ.

Overall Background: Most commentators and preachers who deal with the incident involving Bathsheba focus mostly on David – his sin, repentance, and restoration. What we will see today is the rest of the story from Bathsheba’s angle. By the way, I’m not the first person to attempt this. Many writers, painters, and preachers over the centuries have tried to do that, even Hollywood. Most of it is fanciful imagination, not based on historical evidence. Nothing terribly wrong about that but for our message we will focus only on what is actually written in the Bible about Bathsheba.

Here’s the gist of the message – Sometimes through no fault of your own, you share the consequence of someone else’s sin. Sometimes you have to play a role in someone else’s drama of life. But if you let God step in, He will use even this to bring grace in your life.

Application: This morning there are people here who are in a situation not of their choosing. If you could, you would never get involved in that situation. It is what it is. Either you can spend your whole life in “what if” or you can let God step in. If you do, He will work all things together for good in your life. If you don’t know Him, today is the day.

 4 things we will learn about Bathsheba’s life from the Word of God.

1. HER GODLY LIFE

2 Samuel 11 1 It happened in the spring of the year, at the time when kings go out to battle, that David sent Joab and his servants with him, and all Israel; and they destroyed the people of Ammon and besieged Rabbah. But David remained at Jerusalem. (We can say much about David here – He should have been out there on the battlefield leading his men.)

“An empty mind is a Devil’s workshop.” If you are in a situation where you have a lot of free time on your hands, you are a prime candidate for trouble. Either you are getting into trouble or you are looking to start trouble. As a pastor, when someone comes to me with a complaint about a situation or a person, I evaluate what they are saying based on how busy they are. Leaders at Clearview – “Don’t listen to people who are idle.” They just might be Satan’s tools. But there are also people who are not that busy but they refuse to fall into Satan’s hands. They let God use them and they bring encouragement wherever they go. Which one are you?

David's PalaceBut we will move on because this message is not about David but Bathsheba. 2 “Then it happened one evening that David arose from his bed and walked on the roof of the king’s house.” Archaeology has shown that David’s palace was taller than any surrounding building. So he could look down at an angle on other rooftops or courtyards. “And from the roof he saw a woman bathing, and the woman was very beautiful to behold.” Even though David had a good vantage point to see what was happening in the city, for him to see woman bathing clearly and that she was beautiful to behold, she had to be near enough. Meaning – This woman’s house was near to David’s palace. In those days, only people of importance lived near the palace. The further away from the palace, the less important you were. Apparently, the woman came from an important family.

3 So David sent and inquired about the woman. And someone said, “Is this not Bathsheba, the daughter of Eliam…” Who was Eliam? It sounds like David was supposed to know this person. In 2 Samuel 23 we have a list of David’s mighty men. One of them killed 800 men by himself; another killed 300 men; and yet another had killed a lion inside a snow filled pit. This was an elite fighting force. Listen to verse 34 “…Eliam the son of Ahithophel the Gilonite.” Bathsheba’s father was part of David’s elite fighting force.

There’s more – Who was Ahithophel the Gilonite? 2 Samuel 15:12 Then Absalom sent for Ahithophel the Gilonite, David’s counselor…” Bathsheba’s grandfather was one of David’s advisors. How good of an advisor was he? 2 Samuel 16:23 Now the advice of Ahithophel, which he gave in those days, was as if one had inquired at the oracle of God. Meaning: When Ahithophel spoke, it was as if God spoke.

Bathsheba was not some riffraff. She came from a good home.

Application: Do you come from a good home with godly parents and grandparents? Thank God for that! But you’re not immune to trouble. As long as you live in this sinful world, trouble will find you. 1 Pet. 4:12 Beloved, do not think it strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened to you.” In fact, it seems that those who grow up in good Christian homes seem to have a lot of trouble. The enemy is after you. Don’t give up. Trust God that He will work all things for good.

Let me also talk to those who did not grow up in good homes and family situation. Don’t look with longing eyes at those who did. You never know what they had to go through. Eliam had to run from Saul and live in caves with David.

2. HER SHAMEFUL LIFE

3 “…And someone said, ‘Is this not Bathsheba, the daughter of Eliam, the wife of Uriah the Hittite?’”

Who was Uriah the Hittite? Remember the list of David’s elite fighting force in 2 Samuel 23, where Eliam, Bathsheba’s father was mentioned, listen to verse 39 “and Uriah the Hittite.” So, father-in-law and son-in-law worked together.

Hattusha MapWho was a Hittite? Up until recently, skeptics scholars doubted the existence of the Hittite people. Some scholars claimed that the Bible had created these mythological people and that there was no archaeological evidence for any people known as the Hittites. Then in the past couple of hundred years, artifacts began showing up about 100 miles east of Ankara – which is the capital of Turkey – with information about a people of the land of Hatti. In 1906, an archaeologist by the name of Hugo Winckler excavated over 10,000 clay tablets of the royal Hittite Library. Once again, the Bible stands true.

But the history of Hittite people is somewhat complex. There were Hittites living in the land when Abraham came to Canaan. In fact, he bought a plot of land to bury Sarah from Ephron the Hittite. Later God promised Joshua in Joshua 1:4 that he would give them “all the land of the Hittites.”

Was Uriah part of the Hittites who lived in the North in Asia Minor or was he part of the Hittites in the South who lived in Canaan? Not sure. One Hattushathing we know for sure. He was a follower of the Living and True God. The name Uriah means – “Yahweh is my Light.” This is not just some Semitic name. It is a testimony of someone who has come to know the Living God.

I’ve heard people say – “Bathsheba probably tricked David into lusting after her and she was just as much to be blamed.” We can have a lot of ideas and imaginations, but if you stick with the facts – from start to finish David was the culprit. Not a single time does it say that Bathsheba tricked David. Instead, 2 Samuel 11:4 “Then David sent messengers, and took her; and she came to him, and he lay with her, for she was cleansed from her impurity; and she returned to her house.” It was nothing more than sheer intimidation.

David – the sweet psalmist of Israel; the shepherd king, and a man after God’s own heart. Now, he was just an adulterer.

Application: Have you been disappointed by people you thought you could trust? Give them to the Lord.

3. HER PAINFUL LIFE

5 And the woman conceived; so she sent and told David, and said, “I am with child.” 

You know what followed – David brought Uriah back from the battlefield and was all nice to him and tried to send him home to Bathsheba. Uriah did not go home. Then, he tried to get him drunk and again tried to send him home to Bathsheba. Uriah did not go home. Finally, David sent a letter with Uriah to Joab ordering his execution. Sure enough, in an act of treachery, Uriah was killed along with some other men on the frontlines.

When Bathsheba heard about this – she mourned for him. (2 Samuel 11:26)

Again, this message is not on David. But just a word or two – No one is immune to sin. Sometimes people are disappointed when famous Christians fall into sin as if they were above temptations. In fact, that’s when temptations get more intense. Alan Redpath wrote, “The higher the pinnacle of blessing, authority, and publicity he has attained by grace, the deeper and more staggering can be his collapse.” In other words, the taller the tree, the bigger the sound it makes when it hits the ground.

How about David? 2 Samuel 11:27a And when her mourning was over, David sent and brought her to his house, and she became his wife and bore him a son. As far as David was concerned, it was all good. But 2 Samuel 11:27b “But the thing that David had done displeased the LORD.”

You know the rest – God sent Nathan to confront David and according to God’s judgment, the child died. For the second time, Bathsheba had to mourn again because it says in 2 Samuel 12:24 “Then David comforted Bathsheba his wife…”

Something else happened – Remember, Bathsheba’s grandfather Ahithophel. When Absalom, David’s son, led a revolt/mutiny against his own father, Ahithophel decided to side with Absalom. 2 Samuel 15:31 Then someone told David, saying, “Ahithophel is among the conspirators with Absalom.” Any wonder?!! As far as he was concerned, David had destroyed the marriage of his granddaughter and killed her husband. He gave some horrible advice to Absalom that had nothing do with God. It was to go and rape David’s concubines. Then he gave more advice on how to trap David. But 2 Samuel 17:14 For the LORD had purposed to defeat the good advice of Ahithophel, to the intent that the LORD might bring disaster on Absalom. Absalom refused to listen to Ahithophel. How did Ahithophel take all this? 2 Samuel 17:23  “Now when Ahithophel saw that his advice was not followed, he saddled a donkey, and arose and went home to his house, to his city. Then he put his household in order, and hanged himself, and died…”

Again, I bet Bathsheba more than likely mourned for her grandfather.

How tragic! Sin has a snowball effect. As it rolls down the hill, it just gets bigger and bigger and until it bursts.

Application: Never forget that none of us sins in isolation. Our sins have an impact for generations to come.

4. HER GRACEFILLED LIFE

Is that it? 2 Samuel 12:24 “So she bore a son, and he called his name Solomon. Now the LORD loved him.”

Application: Maybe you have been a victim of similar pain. God is with you. He is willing to show you His grace. He is willing to work all things together for good. Have you turned everything to Him? Do you know Jesus as your Savior?

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