Anger Management Part Three

ANGER MANAGEMENT – 3 by Pastor Shah, Clearview Church, Henderson

Introduction: This morning we are in part three in our miniseries on Anger from the Sermon of the Mount.

Matthew 5 21“You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not murder, and whoever murders will be in danger of the judgment.’ 22 But I say to you that whoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment. And whoever says to his brother, “Raca!’ shall be in danger of the council. But whoever says, ‘You fool!’ shall be in danger of hell fire. 23 Therefore if you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, 24 leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.

Overall Background: 22 But I say to you that whoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment. Last weekend, we first tried to understand what is “anger with a cause.” It is anger when people harden their hearts, when leaders compromise the gospel, when people act like they know better than God, when we see the innocent being mistreated, and when Christians give a bad testimony. The point is – not all anger is bad. Remember – anger is a divine emotion (it comes from God) and it is a derived emotion (it comes out when God’s Holiness and Love come together). We need this kind of anger today – Anger With a Cause. By the way, it’s not mean or hateful or vindictive but it stands up for what is right, for the truth of God.

But, there is another kind of Anger, Anger Without A Cause, which is what this text is about. This kind of anger is not righteous, it is not godly, and it does not bring any good. In fact, it destroys, it is deadly, and it is demonic. No matter how much you justify or rationalize it, it is sinful and against God’s will. Jesus actually compares it to murder. Listen to verse 21“You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not murder, and whoever murders will be in danger of the judgment.’ 22 But I say to you that whoever is angry with his brother without a cause…” In essence, Jesus is saying – “Murder is bad but anger without a cause is worse!”

Question: Do you have this kind of anger? Should I ask – “Does your friend have this kind of anger?” How has it affected your spiritual life, family life, relationships, and work performance? How do you feel when the dust settles? Are you ready for a change? Are you saved?

Let’s look at anger “without a cause.” It comes out —

I. WHEN WE FEEL REJECTED

Genesis 4 3 And in the process of time it came to pass that Cain brought an offering of the fruit of the ground to the LORD. 4 Abel also brought of the firstborn of his flock and of their fat. And the LORD respected Abel and his offering,

Background: Cain and Abel were sons of Adam and Eve. Both of them had respectable occupations – Cain was a farmer and Abel was a Shepherd. When it came time for the offering, God accepted Abel’s offering over Cain’s. Why? Because the offering was supposed to be a blood sacrifice that would represent our forgiveness of sins and refer to the coming of the One who would die for our sins. Cain must have gotten tired of buying a lamb from his brother every time he had to offer a sacrifice and so he decided to make a change. Why can’t God accept my best? What’s wrong with fruits and vegetables? Several things wrong with that – one, the blood sacrifice represented life for life, my sins upon the Lamb; second, it gave a distorted image of God. God is Spirit and those who worship him must worship him in spirit and truth. He doesn’t eat fruits and vegetables.

Listen to verse 5 but He did not respect Cain and his offering. And Cain was very angry, and his countenance fell. Cain must’ve felt rejected. God even tried to remind Cain – 6 So the LORD said to Cain, “Why are you angry? And why has your countenance fallen? 7 If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin lies at the door. And its desire is for you, but you should rule over it.” What was the result? Cain killed Abel.

Life is full of rejections – relationships, job opportunities, church responsibilities, and the list goes on. Rejection is painful. It makes us question our self-worth. It causes us to lose our self-confidence. It incites us to resent the one who is accepted or selected. How you deal with rejection is important? Review what happened, rectify what is missing, reach out to God, and renew your determination. What happens when you don’t deal properly with rejection? Resentment follows. Rebellion follows. Wrath follows.

Jesus gives us an excellent illustration on how to handle rejection. There’s an incident in the Gospels when Jesus went to a certain village of the Samaritans and they did not let him come into their village. Why? Because he was headed to Jerusalem. Samaritans and Jewish people didn’t get along. What is interesting is the response of two brothers, James and John, who were known as the Sons of Thunder. Meaning: they had a bad temper. Listen to their response in Luke 9:54 “And when His disciples James and John saw this, they said, ‘Lord, do You want us to command fire to come down from heaven and consume them, just as Elijah did?’” 55 But He turned and rebuked them, and said, “You do not know what manner of spirit you are of. 56 For the Son of Man did not come to destroy men’s lives but to save them.” And they went to another village.

Application: What kind of spirit do you have? Have you been rejected? How are you handling it? Rejection left alone will lead to resentment, which will lead to rebellion, which will lead to wrath.

II. WHEN WE FEEL STRESSED OUT

We all know about the prophet Jonah – how God called him to go to Nineveh but he ran from God (we’ve been to this place) and how God sent a big storm. Jonah himself asked to be thrown overboard and a big fish swallowed him.

He was inside the fish for 3 days and 3 nights! How would your mental state be? I would say you’d be a little stressed!
But after that Jonah is vomited onto dry land. But God’s not through with Jonah – “It’s time to go to Nineveh.” So now he has to travel from the Mediterranean coast to Nineveh, which is a long way. That is stressful!
Finally, he is at the gates of Nineveh. Ninevites were not known for their hospitality! It usually didn’t make it on anybody’s bucket list to visit. These people were known for their highly advanced torture techniques. That’s stressful!
He enters into this exceedingly great city and has to walk through it – that is 3 days journey in length. That is stressful!
Keep in mind – this is not a leisurely walk through the historic district of Nineveh. He has to preach to them – “Yet forty days, and Nineveh shall be overthrown!” That is stressful!

What’s the result? The people repented, even their King, and God turn from his fierce anger and did not destroy Nineveh. What is Jonah’s response? Jonah 4 1 But it displeased Jonah exceedingly, and he became angry. 2 So he prayed to the LORD, and said, “Ah, LORD, was not this what I said when I was still in my country? Therefore I fled previously to Tarshish; for I know that You are a gracious and merciful God, slow to anger and abundant in lovingkindness, One who relents from doing harm. 3 Therefore now, O LORD, please take my life from me, for it is better for me to die than to live!” Why? Yes – he is prejudiced against the Ninevites but it’s more than that. Listen to God’s question for Jonah in Jonah 4:4 Then the LORD said, “Is it right for you to be angry?” He doesn’t even answer God but goes outside the city limits, makes himself a shelter, and sits down to see what will happen next.

God just told him what will happen but he doesn’t get it. So God created an object lesson for Jonah. God raised up land to grow up and provide shade for Jonah. This made Jonah very happy period but the next morning God prepared a worm and it went and destroyed the plant. By noon time, the sun beat down on his head and the hot east wind blew against him. Jonah almost fainted and once again he said, “It is better for me to die than to live.” Listen to God’s question again in Jonah 4:9 Then God said to Jonah, “Is it right for you to be angry about the plant?” And he said, “It is right for me to be angry, even to death!” Listen to God’s answer in Jonah 4:10 But the LORD said, “You have had pity on the plant for which you have not labored, nor made it grow, which came up in a night and perished in a night. 11 And should I not pity Nineveh, that great city, in which are more than one hundred and twenty thousand persons who cannot discern between their right hand and their left—and much livestock?”

Finally, Jonah had nothing to say. Why? He knew better.

When we are overly stressed out, we do things and say things that we would typically not do and say. When confronted with the truth, we know better.

Application: Are you stressed out? Are you getting enough sleep? When was the last time you took a break? In your spiritual life, are you resting in Christ? Are you praying daily?

III. WHEN WE FEEL EXPOSED

We all know about Joseph and how his brothers had sold him into slavery. But God in His sovereign plan raised him to be second in command in Egypt. When there was a famine all over the world, his brothers came and stood in front of Joseph. They didn’t recognize him but he did. Finally, he revealed to them who he was. Listen to Genesis 45 3 Then Joseph said to his brothers, “I am Joseph; does my father still live?” But his brothers could not answer him, for they were dismayed in his presence. 4 And Joseph said to his brothers, “Please come near to me.” So they came near. Then he said: “I am Joseph your brother, whom you sold into Egypt. 5 But now, do not therefore be grieved or angry with yourselves because you sold me here; for God sent me before you to preserve life. Joseph is so wise now. He knows that their immediate response would be sorry and anger. So he reminds them that God allowed this to happen for everyone’s good.

Truth can either set us free or make us angry. Unfortunately, many times people get angry and mad when they face the truth. Sometimes they are mad at the person telling them the truth, sometimes they are mad at someone else, and other times they are mad at themselves. None of these are the right kind of anger. They don’t help or heal. They only bring more pain. Sometimes some people even get angry with God.

Application: Are you angry with someone because they had exposed you to the truth about you? Are you angry with God? What are you going to do?

Here are some solutions: