Training Part Two by Pastor Abidan Shah

TRAINING Part 2 by Pastor Shah, Clearview Church, Henderson

Training 2

Introduction:  I don’t usually use movie illustrations but just for today, can you identify which movie this line comes from – “No such thing as bad student, only bad teacher.” How about “Wax on, wax off.” It’s from the popular 80’s movie “Karate Kid.” I love that line because it truly explains why kids do what they do. You could say, “No such thing as a bad kid, only bad parents.” Last week we looked at Proverbs 22:6 “Train up a child in the way he (she) should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.” We focused on 4 things in that verse: Child, Way, Training, and Promise. In today’s message we will focus on the fifth element that we briefly touched on – the Trainer, the parent.

Psalm 50    16 But to the wicked God says: “What right have you to declare My statutes, or take My covenant in your mouth, 17 Seeing you hate instruction and cast My words behind you?”

Question:  You cannot hate God’s word and disobey it and tell your kids to love God’s Word and obey it in their lives. They will do what you do. Do you love and obey God’s word? Have you received the Word of God, Jesus, as your Savior? Are you saved?

Bridge: Last week I briefly touched on the character of the trainer. I even gave the example of King David and how he failed to be a good father. In today’s message, I want to step back and try to understand why and how David lost his way. This is important because a parent cannot train the child in the way if he/she has lost the way. To understand this, we have to turn to Psalm 50. You may not know this but scholars in recent years have come to realize that the Book of Psalms is not just a random collection of the songs of Israel. There is an order to them. If you want to know why David sinned and had to repent in Psalm 51, read Psalm 50. How do we know that? To start with, there are many similarities in words and concepts between Psalm 50 and 51. But, there’s something more. Psalm 50 begins with the title “A Psalm of Asaph.” Asaph was a worship leader appointed by King David and a wonderful composer. In fact, he composed Psalms 73-83. What’s really interesting is that Psalm 50 is not in that collection. It appears that someone took it and placed it before Psalm 51. I believe the Holy Spirit did that. Why is that? To give us an insight into why and how David lost his way. I don’t have time to go into the whole psalm. Asaph addressed 2 groups of people in this psalm. First, he addressed the righteous people and reminded them of God’s blessings and promises. Then, he addressed the righteous who had turned to wickedness and reminded them of God’s discipline if they didn’t repent. This is what happened to David.

Starting in verse 16 But to the wicked (righteous) God says: “What right have you to declare My statutes, or take My covenant in your mouth, 17 Seeing you hate instruction and cast My words behind you? God is confronting those wicked righteous who declare his words and speak his truth but lately they have come to despise his word and disregard his truth. God is telling them that unless they have the right attitude towards his word, they have no right to declare his words. In other words, I lose the right to preach God’s word and demand obedience if I reject it in my life. David was the sweet psalmist of Israel who had an incredible love for God’s word. Listen to Psalm 19   7 “The law of the Lord is perfect, converting the soul; The testimony of the Lord is sure, making wise the simple; 8 The statutes of the Lord are right, rejoicing the heart; The commandment of the Lord is pure, enlightening the eyes; 9 The fear of the Lord is clean, enduring forever; The judgments of the Lord are true and righteous altogether. 10 More to be desired are they than gold, Yea, than much fine gold; Sweeter also than honey and the honeycomb. 11 Moreover by them Your servant is warned, And in keeping them there is great reward. 12 Who can understand his errors? Cleanse me from secret faults. 13 Keep back Your servant also from presumptuous sins; Let them not have dominion over me. Then I shall be blameless, And I shall be innocent of great transgression. 14 Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart Be acceptable in Your sight, O Lord, my strength and my Redeemer.” Wow! For whatever reason, lately he hasn’t had the same love for God’s word. When we begin to lose our love for God’s word, it’s a sign that something is horribly wrong. By the way, this is how sin entered the world when Adam and Eve questioned God’s Word and disobeyed him. That old adage is still true – “This book will keep you from sin or sin will keep you from this book.”

How does this apply to training our children? Imagine if I were to take my children to my favorite restaurant and tell them that it’s awesome and they need to try this dish or that but when the food came, I made the ugliest face and as I was walking out, I threatened them to eat it all! How do you think they’d respond? Confused, frustrated, and angry. There are people who want their children and grandchildren to go to church, Sunday School, Blaze, AWANA, children’s camp, youth retreats but they themselves could care less about God’s Word, preaching, Sunday School, Bible Study, and all of that. What do you think is going through their kids minds?

Let’s go back to Psalm 50. When you turn away from God’s Word, it opens the floodgate to sin. Listen to the list of sins that follow. By the way, they are a clear violation of the Ten Commandments, especially 7-10.

  1. Sin of Stealing – 18 “When you saw a thief, you consented with him…” Stealing is a violation of the 8th commandment in Exodus 20:15 “You shall not steal.” With no word in your life, you start “consenting,” the Hebrew word “ratsa” means be accepting, be pleased, get along very well with people who steal. Stealing doesn’t have to be pickpocketing or holding up a bank. You can steal money or time from your employer, employees, family, friends, and even God.
  2. Sin of Adultery – 18 “…and have been a partaker with adulterers.” This is a violation of the 7th and the 10th commandment in Exodus 20:14 “You shall not commit adultery” and Exodus 20:17 “You shall not covet your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, nor his male servant, nor his female servant, nor his ox, nor his donkey, nor anything that is your neighbor’s.” With no word in your life, you start “partaking,” the Hebrew word is “khalak,” which means “common ground.” Adultery never starts out with an outright affair. Many times, it starts out with being with people who condone and even justify adultery. They watch adulterous shows and read adulterous books and admire adulterous lives. All because the standard of God’s word is absent from your life.
  3. Sin of Slander – 19 “You give your mouth to evil, And your tongue frames deceit. 20 You sit and speak against your brother; You slander your own mother’s son.” This is a violation of the 9th commandment in Exodus 20:16 “You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.” I think we can add to this the 6th commandment in Exodus 20:13 “You shall not murder.” The word for “slander is the Hebrew word “dopeh,” which means you sit there finding faults in everyone. Some people may not do any physically assassinations but they do plenty of character assassinations. They gossip against others. They spread rumors against others. They spew bitterness towards others. You cannot be saved and be forever bitter and unforgiving towards others.

What will God do about it? 21 These things you have done, and I kept silent…” Just because God does not immediately deal with your sin does not mean that he approves it. Silence is not approval. When we are silent, we are approving. When God is silent, he is extending mercy. But listen to what God concludes – 21 “…You thought that I was altogether like you…” This is the sin of misrepresenting God because it suits your purpose and your love for your pet sin. Think about it – Parents are like gods to children. When we start making God in our image, imagine the confusion that it causes for the children.

Application: Do you twist the Bible to justify your behavior, your sin? The worst thing you can do to any person is misrepresent him/her. Yet, people do that to God to justify their sinful action and lives. This is especially dangerous when it comes to our children.

What is the consequence? 21 “…But I will rebuke you, and set them in order before your eyes.” If you are a child of God, the Holy Spirit will not let you off easily. He will convict you and expose to you the error of your ways. What if you still don’t change? 22 “Now consider this, you who forget God, Lest I tear you in pieces, And there be none to deliver:” Now it’s no longer private but public exposure. The old principle is true – “You uncover your sin and God will cover it. You cover your sin and God will uncover it.”

Here’s the solution – 23 “Whoever offers praise glorifies Me; And to him who orders his conduct aright I will show the salvation of God.” What will you do? True praise cannot come from a contaminated, sin-filled heart.

Invitation: What kind of a trainer are you? Do you love God’s Word? Do you obey God’s Word? Are you saved?

Training by Pastor Abidan Shah

TRAINING by Pastor Shah, Clearview Church, Henderson


Introduction:  I appreciate our basketball coaches. It’s amusing to watch them, especially when the kids are not doing what they’re supposed to. A psychology professor asked his students, “What do you call someone who one-minute walks back and forth screaming at the top of his lungs, and the next sits in a chair crying uncontrollably?” Someone in the back answered, “A basketball coach.” So also, in life, there are many parents who walk back and forth on the sidelines screaming one minute, crying the next, and wondering why their children are doing what they’re doing in the game of life. Hopefully, today’s message titled “TRAINING” will help us. The basic premise of the message is this – “God has ordained parents to be the primary coaches in a child’s life. How you (parents) train your children is how they play the game of life.” Please don’t misunderstand – the goal of this message is not to cause you more pain if your children are not where they need to be. Instead, it’s to help you understand them and pray for them better. Also, I am not preaching as an expert but as a fellow coach in the game of child-rearing.

Proverbs 22:6 “Train up a child in the way he (she) should go, and when he (she) is old he (she) will not depart from it.”

Question: “You cannot show the way unless you know the way.” Jesus said in John 14:6 “I am the way, the truth, and the life…” The true way of life is Jesus. Do you know him?

Context: Before we dive into this message, there are 2 things I want to clarify:

  1. Some people think that proverbs are not promises. They’re just general observations, common sense tips, or practical suggestions for everyday life. I disagree. Solomon begins this book by pointing out in Proverbs 1:7 “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge…” Then 13 more times throughout the book that phrase “fear of the Lord” is found. There are many proverbs in the world and some may even sound like the ones in the Bible but the reason those in the Bible are in the Bible is because God chose them as his Word. They are God’s truth that have stood the test of time. They are promises.
  2. Some people claim that the traditional understanding of Proverbs 22:6 is incorrect. In recent years, it has been claimed this proverb and it’s not about a child’s moral and spiritual upbringing. I have studied this proverb in Hebrew and in its context, it is exactly what it has always meant. Basically, there are 4 parts to this simple proverb:

1. Child – “Train up a child.” The Hebrew word is “nahar,” which can mean anywhere from an unborn child to a young man. However, in this context, the emphasis is on training early. Psychologists and educators are divided over the age at which a child’s behavior is set (4, 7, or 18 years). Children to me are like sweet gum trees. The longer you let them go, the more nuisance they cause. You can try to cut them down but not before you break a few blades and even chop off your own hands. The sooner you begin with your children, the better are your chances to train them in the right way.

2. The Way – “Train up a child in the way” Repeatedly, in Proverbs, Solomon talks about 2 ways – God’s Way and the Sinful Way. The first one comes from the Bible, and the second one comes from the world. The first one leads to blessings and the second one leads to destruction. Listen to these proverbs — 1:15 “My son, do not walk in the way with them (sinful men), Keep your foot from their path.” 3:31 “Do not envy the oppressor, And choose none of his ways.” 4:11 “I have taught you in the way of wisdom; I have led you in right paths.” 10:29 “The way of the Lord is strength for the upright…” 14:12 “There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way of death.” 23:19 “Hear, my son, and be wise; and guide your heart in the way.” Parents – You have been ordained by God to lead your children in the right way, God’s way, the way of truth. Most parents misunderstand what this means. They look at a child’s life like a pie with each slice representing a key aspect of their lives – education, athletics, music, relationships, career, and faith. Unfortunately, in time, the other slices take over the faith slice. Here’s a better way – faith is the dough of the pie which then gets divided into the athletic slice, education slice, music slice, relationships slice, and career slice. The Way is not a balanced life with a dash of God. It is the heart, the center, from which everything flows out. It is a lifestyle. Your child is not a good student, a good athlete, a good musician, and, oh yes, a good Christian. Instead, your child is a Christian who is a good student, a good athlete, a good musician, etc. Training the child in the way is leading your child in lifestyle, a mindset, a worldview that is godly.

3. Training – The Hebrew word is “chanok,” which is a rare word found only 4 times in the Old Testament. It refers to the dedication of a building. Just like a house is dedicated to living, a temple is dedicated to worshipping, and an altar is dedicated to sacrificing, the child is also dedicated by the parents to walking in the right way. But unlike an inanimate building, the child grows and has a personality, feelings, will, desires, and temptations. That’s why a child has to be dedicated daily, which is another word for training. Deuteronomy 6 gives us a good model for how to do this dedication/training – 6 And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. 7 You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. Here are some points:

  • Training is not a one-time event but a 24/7 job. Cannot train if you’re always gone.
  • Training is not accidental but intentional. Seek every opportunity, especially meals.
  • Training is not authoritarian but empathetic. Their world and struggles are tougher.
  • Training is not irrational but logical. Don’t say “Stop asking dumb questions.”
  • Training is not cherry picked but balanced. Not just the bad. Give Law and Grace.
  • Training is not harsh but firm. Age appropriate discipline. Spanking vs losing things.
  • Training is not disheartened but patient. Tell it, tell it again, and keep telling them.
  • Training is not just taught but caught. Not “do as I say, not as I do.” It’s not enough to drop your kids off at church. You have to go as well. You have to receive Christ as your Savior as well.

4. Promise – “and when he (she) is old he (she) will not depart from it.” Now comes the tough question – “Why do children depart even when the parent has trained the child from the early age in the right Way?” There’s a lot of misunderstanding here. There are actually 2 kinds of departing:

Losing Their Way Rebelling Against Your Way
Behavior: Pushing the limits, Peer pressure, Experimenting, Lust, Secretive Behavior: Anger, Hate, Bitterness, Pain, Unforgiveness
Source: Lures of the World, Deceitfulness of Life, Wrong Crowd, Freedom Source: Hypocrisy, Legalism, Harshness in Parents, Church, and Religious Institutions
Attitude towards Parents, Church, & Authority: Shame, Conviction, Avoidance Attitude towards Parents, Church, & Authority: Disrespect, Belligerence, Anger
Example: Solomon – from David’s adultery with Bathsheba, Uriah murdered, death of a newborn. Became the wisest man, wrote Proverbs, Song of Solomon, Ecclesiastes but had 700 wives and 300 concubines. He did not rebel but lost his way. Secret – David’s repentance in Psalm 51. Example: Absalom – 3rd son of David through Maacah (8 wives, adulterous), killed his brother Amnon who had raped his sister and David didn’t do anything, set himself as judge, David had to flee, mourned his death but never reconciled. No Psalm 51.
Return: They’ll be back! Hang on to the Promise. Return: Chance are low because of their impression of the Way.

Note: There is another group that I need to bring up. They are neither “Losing Their Way” nor are they “Rebelling Against Your Way.” They are just “Confused About Your New Way.” Where you were spiritually when you were raising them is not where you are spiritually today. You raised them with a dash of spirituality, a dose of Christianity. You took them to a church where faith was dead, lukewarm, ritualistic, and full of doublespeak. Now you are in a church where your faith is focused upon Christ, grounded in the Word, led by the Spirit, and full of spiritual fire. Your kids are wondering – “What happened to mom and dad? Did they join a cult!” What is needed is for them to catch up with Your New Way.

What do you do for these 3 groups?

  • “Losing Their Way” – Show Love and Forgiveness, Be Patient, and Pray that they will Return to Christ Soon
  • “Rebelling Against Your Way” – Ask God’s forgiveness, Ask Your Children’s Forgiveness, and Pray that they will Meet Christ
  • “Confused About Your New Way” – Invite them to get to know your New Way but be Patient with them, Pray that God will use your example to show them Christ.

Invitation: Do you know the Way? Again, in John 14:6 Jesus said, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.” Here’s what happens when you receive Jesus as your Savior – I Corinthians 1:30 “But of Him you are in Christ Jesus, who became for us wisdom from God—and righteousness and sanctification and redemption.”

Have you lost your way? Prodigal Son – “Give me the portion of goods that falls to me.” Journeyed to a far country, wasted everything, “Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you”, When he was still a great way off, his father was waiting!

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