Family Resemblance by Dr. Abidan Shah

FAMILY RESEMBLANCE by Dr. Shah, Clearview Church, Henderson, NC

Introduction:  If you grew up in America, especially in the South, you have heard of the legendary feud between the Hatfields and the McCoys, 2 families that lived on the border of West Virginia and Kentucky by the Tug Fork of the Big Sandy River. The two patriarchs of the families – William Anderson (Devil Anse) Hatfield and Randolph McCoy got into a dispute over the murder of Randolph’s brother sometime after the Civil War. They also had an ongoing conflict over timber. Few years later, some of the descendants fought over a pig and the star witness was killed soon after. Then, it was a romance between Hatfield’s son and McCoy’s daughter that didn’t work out and some more murders followed. Altogether, it is claimed that at least 20 men and women (some even claim 100) were killed over the family feud. Although, everything had been long forgotten since they shook hands in 1897, there was a dispute in 2000 over the access to the cemetery. So, in 2003, both the families had to sign a truce. Little did those 2 patriarchs realize the pattern they set for their descendants even 2 centuries later! It’s amazing how much we follow the trajectory of our parents, good and bad. Main point: Yes, we should honor our parents, but we should be careful about following their trajectory, especially when it comes to marriage and family. Instead, we are to choose to be daughters of Sarah and sons of Abraham. In other words, seek to be a submissive wife like Sarah and an understanding husband like Abraham.

1 Peter 3:1 “Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives.”

Context: In our series on 1 Peter titled “TOGETHER FORWARD,” we come to the section that has been very controversial through the years. It has been misused and abused causing a lot of pain, mostly to women, but also to children. It was very tempting for me to skip over it, but the more I prayed about it, the more I realized that to skip over it is to skip over God’s words. I don’t have the authority to do that. So, don’t shoot the messenger. In fact, the proper understanding of this passage is actually liberating to women rather than binding. Furthermore, it is the linchpin issue that deals with the rest of the craziness that is happening in our culture with gender and race issues.

Before we dive into this section of husband-wife relationship, we need to keep in mind the section that we just came out of. Peter had just finished telling his readers to follow the example of the Servant from Isaiah 53. He wanted his readers and us to have the mindset of the one who was “wounded for our transgressions…bruised for our iniquities; the chastisement for our peace was upon Him, and by His stripes we are healed” (Isaiah 53:5). Without that mindset, the section we are about to get into will be like fingernails on chalkboard.

Application: Do you have the Servant mindset? Are you willing to suffer for others? Do you know the Servant, Jesus Christ? Was he wounded for your transgressions? Was he bruised for your iniquities? Was the chastisement of your peace upon him? Were you healed by his stripes?

Back to our section – Even though the section on husband-wife relationship begins in 1 Peter 3:1, I would like to begin at 1 Peter 3:5 where Peter invoked the example of the marriage of Abraham and Sarah to explain how wives should be submissive and husbands should lead in marriage – 5 “For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands, 6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror. 7 Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.” Even though Abraham’s name is not mentioned in verse 7, the implication is there: Women be a wife like Sarah and men be a husband like Abraham. In other words, those who truly exemplify what marriage is supposed to be become the true descendants of Sarah and Abraham. So, how was the marriage of Sarah and Abraham?

  1. She was a supportive wife.

Genesis 12      4 “…And Abram was seventy-five years old when he departed from Haran. 5Then Abram took Sarai his wife and Lot his brother’s son, and all their possessions that they had gathered, and the people whom they had acquired in Haran, and they departed to go to the land of Canaan.”

Keep in mind that Abram was originally from Ur. It’s his father Terah who led the first exodus out of Ur with his kids, livestock, and possessions and came to Haran. By the time they were there and Terah died, Abram was 75 years old. That would make Sarah 65 since she was 10 years younger than him. It’s already been one big move. When God’s call came to Abram in Haran, he left and Sarah followed her husband. The Bible doesn’t talk about it but I can imagine what a struggle that must have been for her. Archaeological evidence tells us that Ur was a large, civilized city. Being near the Persian Gulf, people from everywhere came there for business. Haran was not as prominent, but it was still a big place. There was a large temple to the moon god there. Nonetheless, Sarai followed her husband. Why? She knew that God had called her husband.

Application: Ladies, are you supportive of your husband? I understand that there will be times that you will have to put your foot down, but have you ever been supportive?

  1. He was not always an understanding husband.

Genesis 12      10 Now there was a famine in the land, and Abram went down to Egypt to dwell there, for the famine was severe in the land. 11 And it came to pass, when he was close to entering Egypt, that he said to Sarai his wife, “Indeed I know that you are a woman of beautiful countenance. 12 Therefore it will happen, when the Egyptians see you, that they will say, “This is his wife’; and they will kill me, but they will let you live. 13 Please say you aremy sister, that it may be well with me for your sake, and that I may live because of you.”

Technically, she was his sister (Genesis 20:12), but what a horrible thing to do. Also, how cowardly can you get. Thankfully, God intervened and saved Sarah by plaguing Egypt. Unfortunately, he still didn’t learn his lesson. In Genesis 20, 25 years since the Egypt incident, he did it again and this time he was 100 years old. Again, God had to intervene. Goes to tell you that age does not always equal maturity. Stupid has no age limit!

Application: Men, have you been understanding towards your wife? I understand that none of us are perfect, but is there a mental block somewhere?

  1. They both made some big mistakes.

Genesis 16      1 Now Sarai, Abram’s wife, had borne him no children. And she had an Egyptian maidservant whose name was Hagar. 2 So Sarai said to Abram, “See now, the LORD has restrained me from bearing children. Please, go in to my maid; perhaps I shall obtain children by her.” And Abram heeded the voice of Sarai.

Their mistake was not that they were helping God out. Their mistake was that they both thought that Sarah was not part of God’s plan. She was being unselfish, and he was not talking to God. Later, Sarah told Abraham to send Hagar and Ishmael away and we wouldn’t listen to her and God had to talk to Abraham. How tragic when husbands and wives are not on the same page spiritually.

Application: Couples sometimes make bad decisions, and their marriage comes to a halt. Is that you? Has your marriage come to a standstill because of the complications of sin?

  1. Nonetheless, she submitted to his leadership.

When God came to inform Sarah that she would be with child, listen to her response –Genesis 18      10 And He said, “I will certainly return to you according to the time of life, and behold, Sarah your wife shall have a son.” (Sarah was listening in the tent door which was behind him.) 11 Now Abraham and Sarah were old, well advanced in age; and Sarah had passed the age of childbearing. 12 Therefore Sarah laughed within herself, saying, “After I have grown old, shall I have pleasure, my lord being old also?” That is the passage that Peter quotes in his letter. The word she used here in Hebrew is “adoney,” which means lord, master. In spite of all his weaknesses, she laughed at the proposition but still showed him respect for his leadership.

Application: Ladies, have you stopped respecting your husband for some decision(s) he has made? How do you talk to him? How do you look at him?

  1. He, not Sarah, was called by God to do the most difficult sacrifice.

God called him, not Sarah, to sacrifice Isaac. He was the spiritual leader of the family. Just like after Adam and Eve sinned, God knew who took the fruit first, but he called, “Adam, where are you?” The most difficult thing for a wife is a husband who doesn’t lead spiritually or is inconsistent?

Application: Men, God is going to require from you, not your wife, the account of your family?

What is submission not? (From Grudem)

  1. Putting your husband in the place of God.
  2. Giving up your mind and thought.
  3. Suppressing any efforts to influence and guide your husband.
  4. Giving in to every demand of the husband.
  5. Being inferior in Christ compared to your husband.
  6. Getting spiritual and personal strength primarily through your husband.
  7. Being fearful and timid.

1 Peter 3:6 “as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror.”

What is leadership not?

  1. Thinking that you are closer to God.
  2. Expecting blind allegiance.
  3. Refusing to take your wife’s advice and input.
  4. Doing whatever you want.
  5. Leaving all spiritual stuff to your wife.
  6. Refusing to take the blame for where your family is headed.
  7. Being brash and authoritarian.

What is submission? The inner quality of gentleness that affirms the leadership of your husband.

What is leadership? The outward demonstration of understanding that gives your wife the honor that is due.

What is the goal? So, you can be heirs together of the grace of life and your prayers may not be hindered.

1 Peter 3:7 “Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.”

Invitation: Do you have family resemblance with Sarah and Abraham or with your own “Hatfields and McCoys?” Are you in the family of God? Are you saved?

Heart Search by Pastor Abidan Shah

HEART SEARCH by Pastor Shah, Clearview Church, Henderson

Heart SearchIntroduction: Couple of years ago we visited “The Tomb of the Unknown Soldier” at the Arlington National Cemetery in Washington D.C. I’m sure you’ve seen pictures of it or probably been there with your family. It is considered to be hallowed ground because interred below are soldiers from the various wars that were never identified. On the Western Panel of the tomb are the words, “Here Rests in Honored Glory An American Soldier Known But to God.” The Honor Guard keeps watch over the Tomb 24/7 even through bad weather. The soldiers who “walk the mat” are held to the highest standard of behavior. If they do anything that is considered disrespectful to the Tomb, their badge can be taken away if they’re no longer serving at the Tomb. Thousands upon thousands of people come each year to watch the changing of the guards. But if they get loud or sit during the ceremony, the guard will immediately step off the met and call them out – “It is requested that all visitors maintain an atmosphere of silence and respect at all times.” Why such respect? The Tomb is a reminder of the price that was paid for our freedom. It is a time for self-reflection to see if we are living up to the sacrifice that was made for us. We need a similar understanding and self-reflection when we come to the Communion. Our message is called “HEART SEARCH.” It’ll make more sense as we go further.

1 Corinthians 11   23 For I received from the Lord that which I also delivered to you: that the Lord Jesus on the same night in which He was betrayed took bread; 24 and when He had given thanks, He broke it and said, “Take, eat; this is My body which is broken for you; do this in remembrance of Me.” 25 In the same manner He also took the cup after supper, saying, “This cup is the new covenant in My blood. This do, as often as you drink it, in remembrance of Me.”

Context: Usually we tack on the Communion at the end of every Easter service. We fail to understand the true meaning and serious consequence of sin in our lives towards each other. The true understanding of the death, burial, and resurrection of Christ changes the way we treat people.

Question: How are you treating each other in your life? Do you see others through the lens of the cross? When did you last search your heart? Are you saved?

In today’s message, we will see why and how we need to do a heart search:

1 Corinthians 11:18 For first of all, when you come together as a church, I hear that there are divisions among you, and in part I believe it.

Background: When we went through our series on love from I Corinthians 13, we learned how Corinth was a Roman colony and it’s population was made up of former slaves, army veterans, business people, and laborers. Yes, there were people there who were original Greeks but most were Roman citizens. We have documentary and archaeological evidence that the Corinthians of the time were known for their pride, arrogance, and self-importance. Unfortunately, this attitude was also creeping into the church. Now they were treating each other with condescension and selfishness. They were divided into groups of haves and have-nots and spirituals and super-spirituals. They were even mistreating each other during the Communion service. Paul wrote the letter to rebuke, to correct them, to instruct, and to bring them to a proper understanding of how believers in Christ should treat each other.

Application: Is there a difference between how you lived before Christ and how you live now in Christ? Has there been a change in attitude and behavior in you treated others before you got saved and how you treat people now?

20 Therefore when you come together in one place, it is not to eat the Lord’s Supper. 21 For in eating, each one takes his own supper ahead of others; and one is hungry and another is drunk. 22 What! Do you not have houses to eat and drink in? Or do you despise the church of God and shame those who have nothing? What shall I say to you? Shall I praise you in this? I do not praise you.

Background: The early church used to have a love feast (fellowship dinner) every week along with the Lord’s Supper. They used to have a “better room” known as the triclinium (lit. three couches), which was a formal dining room in Roman buildings. Some of the Christians would get there early to beat the rush and get the better seat in the dining room while the latecomers had to crowd into the Atrium. “…and one is hungry and another is drunk.” While people were in the Atrium waiting to get in, many of them were taking their time eating and drinking and actually getting drunk! In essence, they had lost the true meaning and purpose of the Communion.

It’s very interesting how Paul deals with this kind of a behavior. He does not just tell them to grow up or be unselfish or be kind to one another. Instead, he takes them back to the fateful night when Jesus gave the institution of the Communion. 23 For I received from the Lord that which I also delivered to you: that the Lord Jesus on the same night in which He was betrayed took bread…”

Before we go any further, here’s an important principle: Nothing is more life changing and behavior altering than the cross. There’s something about the cross that has the power to bring us to our knees. It has the ability and potential to bring things into perspective. If I may add, if the cross doesn’t do it for you, either your heart is too hard or you’re lost.

Now Paul wants these Corinthians to really understand the meaning of this meal. Keep in mind that most of them did not have a Jewish background. All many of them were used to was going through their temples and taking part in the sacred food offered to the idols. Paul is giving them a crash course in what the Lord’s Supper really means. Listen again: 23 For I received from the Lord that which I also delivered to you: that the Lord Jesus on the same night in which He was betrayed took bread;

Background: People have argued over whether or not this was a Passover Meal because John talks about Passover being the next day. I believe that Jesus chose to make the meal of Thursday evening into a New Passover meal. This is important because when the Hebrews or the people of Israel or the Jewish people celebrated the Passover, they were told to include themselves in the events that took place on the night when God led the Hebrews out of Egypt. The Passover Haggadah says, “In every generation a man must so regard himself as if he came forth himself out of Egypt…‘What the Lord did for me when I came forth out of Egypt.’” The lesson here for the Corinthians was – “Don’t just do the Lord’s Supper. Picture yourself there in the upper room, watching, and listening to Jesus speaking.”

Application: What goes through your mind when you take part in the Lord’s Supper? Do you picture yourself in the upper room, sitting across from Jesus? Can you see the stress on his face, knowing that in just a few hours he would be brutally nailed to the cross for the sins of the whole world?

What’s next? 24 and when He had given thanks, He broke it and said, “Take, eat; this is My body which is broken for you.” Jesus gave a whole new radical meaning to the Passover Meal where He became the bread. Then he said – “do this in remembrance of Me.” What does that mean? It has several levels of meanings: remember in gratitude; identify with the crucified Christ; return to where it all began for you; and look forward to what God has in store for you. There’s one more – remember how guilty you are in the sight of God and how much you need his forgiveness and grace in your life. The Corinthians were so focused on status and pride, this was the farthest thing on their minds.

Application: What will help a husband and a wife to forgive and love is Christ on the cross. What will help loved ones get along is Christ on the cross. What will help a divided church find healing is Christ on the cross. Have you turned to him yet?

25 In the same manner He also took the cup after supper, saying, “This cup is the new covenant in My blood.

Background: Going back to our Passover imagery, this Cup of Blessing came at the end of the meal and Jesus also recast it and called it the New Covenant. What Paul was telling the Corinthians is that under the New Covenant even God set aside his rights and was willing to pour his blood for sinful human beings. If they claim Christ, they were part of a whole new community where personal rights and free choice to treat people any way they want to is also over. Under the New Covenant, they were obligated to act the way Jesus did. And again – “This do, as often as you drink it, in remembrance of Me.”

Application: Do you believe that you are part of this New Covenant in Christ? Do you actions match the actions of Christ?

26 For as often as you eat this bread and drink this cup, you proclaim the Lord’s death till He comes. 27 Therefore whoever eats this bread or drinks this cup of the Lord in an unworthy manner will be guilty of the body and blood of the Lord. Meaning: Don’t use my name if you don’t live by my example.

For e.g. Parents reminding their children, “Don’t forget. You carry our name.”

What needs to happen? 28 But let a man examine himself, and so let him eat of the bread and drink of the cup. For the Corinthians it meant, remember that you are standing on hallowed ground. Don’t forget that someone died for your freedom. Meaning: Do a heart check and see if you are truly in Christ. Have you truly died with Christ, buried with him, and risen to walk in the newness of life in him?

What if you don’t? 29 For he who eats and drinks in an unworthy manner eats and drinks judgment to himself, not discerning the Lord’s body. 30 For this reason many are weak and sick among you, and many sleep. 31 For if we would judge ourselves, we would not be judged. 32 But when we are judged, we are chastened by the Lord, that we may not be condemned with the world.

People ask me – “Does God take the lives of people if they take the communion with sin in their hearts?” I remind them of Ananias and Sapphira in the Bible. God struck them dead after they lied about how much they had given. If that were happening today, we would need funeral directors at every service in every church across the world! They were set as an example for us to know that God takes lying and stealing very seriously. So also with how we treat each other in the Body of Christ. God takes it seriously.

Are you saved? Have you done a heart check? Are you somber and treating others in light of the cross?

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