LOVE IS MATURING by Pastor Shah, Clearview Church, Henderson
Introduction: Have you ever said about someone – “He/she is so immature”? Why do we call someone immature? Because they do something that is improper. When little kids do something improper, we just laugh and call it childish. As a little boy I was fascinated by superheroes (Superman, Batman, Spiderman, Captain America, Flash Gordon). What is one thing all Superheroes have in common? They all wear their underwear on the outside. They’re really underwear like shorts over their leggings, kind of like circus athletes and wrestlers of the time. One time we had some people visiting our home and I decided to impress them with my superhero outfit. Unfortunately, they just laughed at me. But, if I were to do that today, you wouldn’t just laugh at me. You would call me immature. Unfortunately, many times, immaturity is not funny but frustrating and hurtful to others. Today we’re going to learn why immaturity and love cannot coexist. Turn to I Corinthians 13 for our message titled, “LOVE IS MATURING.”
I Corinthians 13 4 Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; 5 does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; 6 does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 8 Love never fails…13 And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.
Context: The Corinthian church was unlike any church in Paul’s ministry. They were very immature, spiritually, and Paul was frustrated with them. Listen to how he addressed them in I Corinthians 3 1 “And I, brethren, could not speak to you as to spiritual people but as to carnal, as to babes (children/infants) in Christ. 2 I fed you with milk and not with solid food; for until now you were not able to receive it, and even now you are still not able…” Meaning: You’re just as spiritually immature as before. Why? 3 “for you are still carnal. For where there are envy, strife, and divisions among you, are you not carnal and behaving like mere men?” Meaning: “You’re still spiritually immature because you are so inconsiderate, hateful and rude to each other. You haven’t learnt how to treat each other with honor, dignity, and decency.” Did you know that spiritual maturity is connected to your treatment of others? This is in the context of the church, home, and life. Today’s passage on love takes it one step further – “love does not behave rudely, does not seek its own” – if you love someone, you will treat that person with honor, dignity, and decency. In other words, love and maturity are one and the same. That’s our message today.
Question: Are you a spiritually mature person? Have you grown in your maturity in Christ or are you still pushing, shoving, and pulling at those around you? How do you treat the people you are supposed to love? Are you saved? Before you can grow, you have to be born. Before you can spiritually grow, you have to be born again.
Let’s begin by examining the words that Paul used to describe love – “(love) does not behave rudely, does not seek its own.” The first one “does not behave rudely” is the Greek word “askhemonei.” This word belongs to the family of words that convey inappropriate behavior, shameful attitude, repulsive acts, vulgar actions, and unattractiveness. When the Jewish people translated the Hebrew Bible into Greek (LXX), they used this word group to translate the idea of nakedness, private parts, and even sex. In the New Testament, Paul used this word several times with the same idea. A prominent one is in Romans 1 where he used it to describe homosexuality as indecent and shameful. So why did Paul use it here in I Corinthians 13 to describe love? I believe that Paul had much more in mind than just – “love does not behave rudely.” He wasn’t saying, “if you love someone, you’ll be polite to them, hold the door for them and say please and thank you to them.” You can do all that for someone and never truly love them. If you take the real meaning of the Greek word (inappropriate, indecent, and disgraceful), Paul was telling the Corinthians that if you love someone you will respect them – give honor, show dignity, and act decently to the other person.
Why did Paul say this to the Corinthians? Because the Corinthians were disrespecting each other. Let me give you a few examples of where they did this:
1 Corinthians 5:1 “It is actually reported that there is sexual immorality among you, and such sexual immorality as is not even named among the Gentiles—that a man has his father’s wife!” Even though the word “askhemonei” is not used here, Paul was telling them that this was inappropriate on so many levels. To start with, it was dishonoring for this man to do this to his own father. Next, it was degrading to this woman. She was no longer a respectable woman. Now the couple was sitting in church without any sense of shame. This was disrespectful to the church family. You can imagine the negative impact this was making on the young people. How about the community? People in Corinth were shocked by this behavior as well. Overall, this was a sexually shameful behavior.
I Corinthians 6:6 “But brother goes to law against brother, and that before unbelievers!” Again, the word “askhemonei” is not used here, but you can tell from Paul’s tone that this was a disgraceful behavior. One Christian was suing another Christian in the Corinthian church. Can you imagine the impact this must have had on the church? Families were probably avoiding each other in the church. One would sit on one side of the sanctuary and the other on the other side. This one was probably trying to rally others to their side and that one was talking trash about the other person. How relationally shameful this must have been to the church body.
1 Corinthians 11 20 Therefore when you come together in one place, it is not to eat the Lord’s Supper. 21 For in eating, each one takes his own supper ahead of others.” The early church used to have a love feast (fellowship dinner) every week along with the Lord’s Supper. They used to have a “better room” known as the triclinium (lit. three couches), which was a formal dining room in Roman buildings. Some of the Christians would get there early to beat the rush and get the better seat in the dining room while the latecomers had to crowd into the Atrium. “…and one is hungry and another is drunk.” While people were in the Atrium waiting to get in, many of them were taking their time eating and drinking and actually getting drunk! 22 What! Do you not have houses to eat and drink in? Or do you despise the church of God and shame those who have nothing? What shall I say to you? Shall I praise you in this? I do not praise you. Paul was exposing their spiritually shameful behavior.
1 Corinthians 12 14 For in fact the body is not one member but many. 15 If the foot should say, “Because I am not a hand, I am not of the body,” is it therefore not of the body? 16 And if the ear should say, “Because I am not an eye, I am not of the body,” is it therefore not of the body? 17 If the whole body were an eye, where would be the hearing? If the whole were hearing, where would be the smelling?…21 And the eye cannot say to the hand, “I have no need of you”; nor again the head to the feet, “I have no need of you.” Can you read between the lines and see their collectively shameful behavior?
Why did they behave this way? Paul clarifies “(love) does not behave rudely” with “does not seek its own.” This is word for word in the Greek. They were acting rudely because they were selfish and self-centered people. They only cared about their own concerns, pleasures, and gifts. They did not care about others.
What was the solution? Grow up. Remember, how God loves you. Remember, how important you are to him and remember how important others are to him.
I want us to see how Paul handled the issue of selfishness at the Lord’s Table. 1 Corinthians 11 23 For I received from the Lord that which I also delivered to you: that the Lord Jesus on the same night in which He was betrayed took bread; 24 and when He had given thanks, He broke it and said, “Take, eat; this is My body which is broken for you; do this in remembrance of Me.” 25 In the same manner He also took the cup after supper, saying, “This cup is the new covenant in My blood. This do, as often as you drink it, in remembrance of Me.”
The point is – God loves us in laying down His life for us. Now we are to do the same for others. 1 Corinthians 11 33 Therefore, my brethren, when you come together to eat, wait for one another. 34 But if anyone is hungry, let him eat at home, lest you come together for judgment.
Next, listen to how Paul handles the situation of various gifts and ministries. 1 Corinthians 12 4 There are diversities of gifts, but the same Spirit. 5 There are differences of ministries, but the same Lord. 6 And there are diversities of activities, but it is the same God who works all in all…18 But now God has set the members, each one of them, in the body just as He pleased. 19 And if they were all one member, where would the body be? 20 But now indeed there are many members, yet one body…22 No, much rather, those members of the body which seem to be weaker are necessary. 23 And those members of the body which we think to be less honorable, on these we bestow greater honor; and our unpresentable parts have greater modesty, 24 but our presentable parts have no need. But God composed the body, having given greater honor to that part which lacks it, 25 that there should be no schism in the body, but that the members should have the same care for one another. 26 And if one member suffers, all the members suffer with it; or if one member is honored, all the members rejoice with it.”
This is not just in the context of the church but also our daily relationships.
Let me suggest a few statements that should become a part of our vocabulary if we want to be mature:
I need you.
What do you think?
Let’s work it out.
Together, we can make it.
I am thankful for you.
I’ll help you.
I won’t say it because it will not build him/her up.
I won’t do it because it will hurt him/her.
Are you saved? Are you mature? Are you loving?