Good Good Father by Pastor Abidan Paul Shah

GOOD GOOD FATHER by Pastor Shah, Clearview Church, Henderson

goodgoodfatherIntroduction: This weekend I’m preaching the second message in our new series on the Trinity called “BATTLE OF THE GODS.” We’re going to focus on the nature of the first person of the godhead – God the Father. The message is titled “GOOD GOOD FATHER.” It will not only help us understand God the Father better but also help all men who are fathers to have a better understanding of their role.

John 5   19 Then Jesus answered and said to them, “Most assuredly, I say to you, the Son can do nothing of Himself, but what He sees the Father do; for whatever He does, the Son also does in like manner. 20 For the Father loves the Son, and shows Him all things that He Himself does; and He will show Him greater works than these, that you may marvel. 21 For as the Father raises the dead and gives life to them, even so the Son gives life to whom He will.”

Father Knows Best

Father Knows Best

Family Matters

Family Matters

Bridge: Where do you think most people in America/West get their understanding of what it means to be a father/dad? Television. Would you agree that the image and respect for fathers has been steadily declining since the early days of TV? We’ve come a long ways since Jim Anderson on “Father Knows Best” or even Carl Winslow on “Family Matters.” For the past 20-25 years fathers on TV are portrayed more and more as incompetent, clueless, out of touch, wimpy, rude, crude, and everything that is contrary to what a dad is supposed to be. It’s as if the definition, the position, or the calling of fatherhood is being redefined. Today’s message will help us become better fathers ourselves to our children by patterning ourselves after God the Father.

Some Questions: What comes to your mind when you think of God the Father? What do you think about the relationship between God the Father and God the Son? I know these are some deep questions about the Trinity that you may not have examined before but here are some questions closer to home. Men – What is your understanding of being a good father? Do you think you’ve been a good dad? Ladies – don’t think that this message is only for the men. Some of you have been interfering and sabotaging the role that God has called your husband to play and it needs to stop. Children – some of you have been bitter with your dads for the right or the wrong reasons. Today God wants to bring healing in your relationships. Are you saved? Have you been to the Son?

Let’s answer the question – “What does it mean to be a ‘Good Good Father’ like our Heavenly Father?”

I. BE THE INITIATOR AND THE PATTERN SETTER.

19 Then Jesus answered and said to them, “Most assuredly, I say to you, the Son can do nothing of Himself, but what He sees the Father do; for whatever He does, the Son also does in like manner.”

Background: In this verse Jesus not only gave us a glimpse into His relationship with His Father but also laid out a general principle regarding fatherhood. I know some of our translations have the Son and the Father capitalized as if Jesus was only talking about the Trinity but many scholars believe that it could also be “a typical son” with a small “s” and “a typical father” with a small “f.” In other words, what Jesus was saying is that both in the Trinity as well as in everyday life it is the Father/father who is the initiator and the pattern setter for the children to follow. Listen again – “the Son can do nothing of Himself, but what He sees the Father do; for whatever He does, the Son also does in like manner.”

Men – If you are a father, just like God the Father in the Trinity, you have been assigned by God to be the initiator and the pattern setter in your house. You’ll have to learn from God the Father what it means to be a good initiator and a good pattern setter in your home. Just the way God the Father decreed to create the world and initiated the plan of salvation for sinful humanity, you have to be the creator and initiator of all good things in your family. Unfortunately, in many homes, it is not the man but the poor wife who is playing the initiator and pattern setter for spirituality and everything positive while the man is busy chasing the dollar or sprawled out in front of the TV or out in the garage messing with the vehicles or feeding some habit or hobby. Men – the status of your home is contingent on you. Someone might say – “I’ve tried but it’s always a fight.” I understand that sometimes it can be that way but you can’t give up. Just as a drill sergeant cannot give up on his troop and a coach cannot give up on his team, you cannot give up on your role as the initiator and pattern setter in your household.

Where do you begin? The first place to begin is by rejecting bad patterns of fatherhood in your life. Men – we admire certain men in our lives. Sometimes it’s through personal relationships like fathers, grandfathers, uncles, bosses, supervisors, superior officers, teachers, instructors, coaches, etc. These are people in our lives who have helped us and made a big impact upon us. We respect them and we try to do everything like them, even how we raise our children. If they were wonderful fathers, then great. If not, that can be a huge mistake. Sometimes these men are not personally related to us. We admire them for being successful businessmen, athletes, actors, musicians or some superstar. We idolize such men to the point of emulating them in how they raised their children. We feel that we have to do everything just like them. Now if they were wonderful fathers, then wonderful. If not, that can be a huge mistake. Also, please don’t listen to every parenting seminar and bible study that comes along. Some are unhealthy, legalistic, and unbiblical. In recent years we have seen the fruit of some of this mess.

Application: Men – Are you being the initiator and the pattern setter in your home? You want your children to be good, are you following Jesus Christ? You want the children to be in church, are you in church? If you make fun of the church members and constantly criticize the pastor, don’t expect your children to do any different. Are you following God the Father as your pattern or do you have the wrong pattern?

II. SHOW LOVE IN DIFFERENT WAYS.

20 “For the Father loves the Son and shows Him all things that He Himself does…”

Background: You may not know that this is the second time in John’s Gospel that this statement is made. The first time was in John 3:35 “The Father loves the Son, and has given all things into His hand.” The first one in John 3:35 is about trust and the second in John 5:20 is about knowledge. Something more interesting here – two different Greek words are used for love in these two almost identical statements. In John 3:35 the word for love is “agapan” and in John 5:20 the word for love is “filein.” Any significance? In the first one the Father is telling the Son that He loves Him enough to trust everything over to Him. In the second one the Father is telling the Son that He loves Him enough to reveal everything about Himself to Him. I know some of y’all are wondering – “What does all this mean?” Just like God the Father showed love towards His Son in different words and different ways, so also we can show love to our children in different words and different ways. Men – There is no set way to show love to your children as long as they know you love them.

Illustration: After Rebecca was born I was scared to death about being a father. Even though I had a good father, I also saw that he was not always perfect. Also I had seen many not so good fathers. I wanted to be the best dad that I could be to her and for any who would come after her. So I began to check books out of the library and buy books on being a good father. Even though I was young, only 21 years of age, I could tell that many of the books were only promoting certain personality traits of the writers rather than the core values of fatherhood. For example, some portrayed dad as being a super masculine outdoorsy type, laying down the law for his kids, making them toe the line. Others portrayed dad as a counselor who is always sensitive to the emotions of his kids and understand where they were coming from. Which one is a better father? Neither. You need both. Sometimes you have to lay down the law and other times you have to sit there and listen. Some men are gruffer and others are mellower. Being gruff does not make you a bad father and being mellow does not make you a good father. These models are more personality traits rather core values. The main point is that as fathers we need to show love in different ways as the occasion demands.

Application: Do you understand the love of the Father towards the Son? Do you show love to your children in different ways as the occasion demands? Are you holding on to some grudge against your father because he did not follow a certain trait, because he did not show up for every game you played? Did you forget that he was there when you had your wreck? Did you forget that he was there when you were sick?

III. RAISE YOUR KIDS TO SURPASS YOU.

20 “…and He will show Him greater works than these, that you may marvel. 21 For as the Father raises the dead and gives life to them, even so the Son gives life to whom He will.”

Background: This is a deep statement here. What Jesus is saying here is that the Father has done great things but now He wants to show His Son even greater things so that the onlookers would marvel. The Father raises the dead and gives life to them but the Son will give life to whom He will, dead or alive. In other words, it is one thing to bring a physically dead person to life. It’s quite another to bring a physically living but spiritually dead person to life. Listen 3 verses later to John 5   24 “Most assuredly, I say to you, he who hears My word and believes in Him who sent Me has everlasting life, and shall not come into judgment, but has passed from death into life. 25 Most assuredly, I say to you, the hour is coming, and now is, when the dead will hear the voice of the Son of God; and those who hear will live.” Isn’t God the Father so humble and generous?!! He didn’t limit the work of Jesus but He gave Him the authority and power to surpass Him.

How did Jesus handle all this authority and power? 30 “I can of Myself do nothing. As I hear, I judge; and My judgment is righteous, because I do not seek My own will but the will of the Father who sent Me.” In other words, the Father honored the Son by giving Him greater authority and power and the Son in turn acknowledged how much more He was depended on the Father.

Application: What would happen if our families were to operate by such divine principles? What would happen if fathers all across America began to model themselves after our Heavenly Father? What would happen if children began to honor their fathers as God the Son honored His Father?

Our culture is struggling with the absence of fathers in the home. Many homes have fathers but they are not leading, as they should. Sometimes they are not being allowed to lead. Dads need to declare with Joshua in Joshua 24:15 “And if it seems evil to you to serve the LORD, choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.”

For those whose fathers checked out, God the Father stepped in for you. Forgive those who failed and look to your Heavenly Father.

Are you saved? You cannot come to the Father unless you come to the Son first

Dads Wanted

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DADS WANTED – Part 1 by Pastor Shah, Clearview Church, Henderson

dadswanted

Introduction: This weekend being Father’s Day we’re going to take a break from our ongoing series on the Sermon on the Mount and talk about something that is very dear to my heart – something more important to me than being a pastor, more important than being a scholar, and it comes next only to my relationship with my wife. It’s my calling to be a dad. Those who know me know that I take it very seriously. Today is part one of the message – “DADS WANTED.”

Prov. 1:8-19 8 My son, hear the instruction of your father, And do not forsake the law of your mother; 9 For they will be a graceful ornament on your head, And chains about your neck. 10 My son, if sinners entice you, Do not consent. 11 If they say, “Come with us, Let us lie in wait to shed blood; Let us lurk secretly for the innocent without cause; 12 Let us swallow them alive like Sheol, And whole, like those who go down to the Pit; 13 We shall find all kinds of precious possessions, We shall fill our houses with spoil; 14 Cast in your lot among us, Let us all have one purse”— 15 My son, do not walk in the way with them, Keep your foot from their path;

Overall Background: 8 My son, hear the instruction of your father…” Who is the son and who is the father? To get their identity, you have to go back to the first verse of this chapter – The proverbs of Solomon the son of David, king of Israel: So the father is Solomon the son of King David and he is writing this letter to his son Rehoboam. Do you see the 3 generations – Granddaddy David, daddy Solomon, and son Rehoboam. Before we go further, what kind of a man was granddaddy David? He was the shepherd boy who killed Goliath, the sweet psalmist of Israel who wrote songs like Psalm 23, the great King and leader, and the man after God’s own heart. But what kind of a dad was David? Besides being an adulterer and a murderer, he was a failure as a father.

Application: Many of you grew up with a David as a father. Instead of wasting your time regretting the past or blaming all your problems on him, let God bring healing for your past and you do things differently. If you are that David, do whatever you can to make things right. Listen to 1 Kings 2 1 Now the days of David drew near that he should die, and he charged Solomon his son, saying: 2 “I go the way of all the earth; be strong, therefore, and prove yourself a man. (Maybe he was saying – “I wasn’t the man I was supposed to be but you make it right.”) 3 And keep the charge of the LORD your God: to walk in His ways, to keep His statutes, His commandments, His judgments, and His testimonies, as it is written in the Law of Moses, that you may prosper in all that you do and wherever you turn…” Now Solomon is a father and he is doing things differently. He is writing letters to his son Rehoboam teaching him about God, life, wisdom, relationships, decisions, and the difference between right and wrong.

Men in Factories 1800sWhy do these letters matter to us? America is in a crisis today – the Civil War Childrencrisis of fatherhood. It began as early as the 1830s when the Industrial Revolution started and fathers had to go to a factory or an assembly line away from home. Even back in 1830 people saw the dangerous trend and they warned against it. During Civil War, soldiers often wrote home and what they wrote is a good indicator of how the home was run. One soldier wrote to his wife: “I think of you…and I wish I could be there to send Ed to bed on time…should I ever reach home again I feel thankful to think I am spared on Edwin’s account as I know he will grow up a bad boy unless some father guides him.” Sadly, such accounts became rare as we approached the 1900s. Now the mother became the “natural” caretaker of the child and the father became a provider, a supervisor and disciplinarian. He earns, fixes things, mows the lawn, and that’s Civil War Children 2about it. In fact in 1900, someone said that “the suburban husband and father” was just a “Sunday institution.” That was a hundred years ago. We have moved way past that point.

For e.g. Back in 1995 (20 years ago), a book came out called “Fatherless America: Confronting our most urgent social problem.” Listen to what the author, David Blankenhorn, said in his introduction: “Tonight, about 40 percent of American children will go to sleep in homes in which their fathers do not live. Before they reach the age of eighteen, more than half of our nation’s children are likely to spend at least a significant portion of their childhoods living apart from their fathers. Never before in this country have so many children been voluntarily abandoned by their Men in factories 1900sfathers. (Its one thing if the father has died.) Never before have so many children grown up without knowing what it means to have a father. . . Consider this prediction. After the year 2000, as people born after 1970 emerge as a large proportion of our working-age adult population, the United States will be a nation divided into two groups, separate and unequal. . . The primary fault line dividing the two groups will not be race, religion, class, education, or gender. It will be patrimony. One group will consist of those adults who grew up with the daily presence and provision of fathers. The other group will consist of those who did not. By the early years of the next century, these two groups will be roughly the same size.” Further down in chapter 12, he writes: “The most urgent domestic challenge facing the United States at the close of the twentieth century is the re-creation of the fatherhood as a vital social role for men. At stake is nothing less than the success of the American experiment.”

Bottom Line: America desperately needs some Solomons – men who will REFUSE to let their past define them, men who will REJECT the negative labels that society has placed on them, and men who will REFLECT God as a standard of fatherhood. Altogether Solomon wrote 10 letters but this morning we will only look at the first five and then next week the remaining five. Again, we’re not looking at every detail in these letters, that would take days, just the highlights. 5 Reasons Dads are wanted:

I. DADS ARE WANTED TO TEACH CHILDREN TO REJECT BAD COMPANY.

Proverbs 1 10 My son, if sinners entice you, Do not consent. 11 If they say, “Come with us, Let us lie in wait to shed blood; Let us lurk secretly for the innocent without cause; 12 Let us swallow them alive like Sheol, And whole, like those who go down to the Pit; 13 We shall find all kinds of precious possessions, We shall fill our houses with spoil; 14 Cast in your lot among us, Let us all have one purse”—

Young people – parents (especially dads) have a built-in troublemaker detector. That’s why they say things like – “If all your friends were to jump off a bridge, would you do it too?” That’s not the time to ask – “What if the bridge is on fire?”

15 My son, do not walk in the way with them, Keep your foot from their path; 16 For their feet run to evil, And they make haste to shed blood. 17 Surely, in vain the net is spread In the sight of any bird; 18 But they lie in wait for their own blood, They lurk secretly for their own lives.

Illustration: My dad told me to stay away from wine, women, and gambling.

Application: Dads – Do you take the time to teach your children the difference between good and bad company? Here’s a better question – what kind of company do you keep?

II. DADS ARE WANTED TO TEACH CHILDREN HOW TO FIND WISDOM.

Proverbs 2 1 My son, if you receive my words, And treasure my commands within you, 2 So that you incline your ear to wisdom, And apply your heart to understanding; 3 Yes, if you cry out for discernment, And lift up your voice for understanding,

Would you agree that our young people desperately needs wisdom? They need wisdom in their relationships, finances, future, and daily decisions.

Where does wisdom come from? 4 If you seek her as silver, And search for her as for hidden treasures; 5 Then you will understand the fear of the LORD, And find the knowledge of God. 6 For the LORD gives wisdom; From His mouth come knowledge and understanding;

Application: Dads – do you take the time to teach your children how to find wisdom? Again, do you seek for wisdom? Do you read the word of God on a daily basis?

III. DADS ARE WANTED TO TEACH CHILDREN HOW TO BE SUCCESSFUL.

1 My son, do not forget my law, But let your heart keep my commands; 2 For length of days and long life And peace they will add to you. 3 Let not mercy and truth forsake you; Bind them around your neck, Write them on the tablet of your heart, 4 And so find favor and high esteem In the sight of God and man.

Mercy = “Hesed” It could be translated “kindness” or “help to the needy.”

For e.g. Do you teach your children not to make fun of people regarding their color, clothes, and looks?

Truth = “Emet” It can refer to “faithfulness” or “being trustworthy” or “living by truth.”

For e.g. Do you teach your children to tell the truth or do you teach them to cheat?

When these two things are in your life, God will look at you with favor and so will people.

Application: dads – do you teach your children the value of mercy and truth? Here’s a better question is there mercy and truth in your life? That’s the secret of success.

IV. DADS ARE WANTED TO TEACH CHILDREN DISCIPLINE.

Proverbs 3 11 My son, do not despise the chastening of the LORD, Nor detest His correction; 12 For whom the LORD loves He corrects, Just as a father the son in whom he delights.

People swing from Dr. Spock on one end to Dr. Watson on the other. The former advocated permissiveness and the latter strict discipline. The grandson of Spock committed suicide by jumping off the building where his father worked. The son of Watson also committed suicide. The answer is neither. It is the bible that has the truth.

We’re not called to punish but discipline. We’re called to correct and redirect. We have to understand age appropriate discipline. In our society – dads have given up their God-given right to correct their children. Why? Because they are full of problems themselves.

Application: Dads – do you discipline your children? Are there things in your life that need God’s discipline?

V. DADS ARE WANTED TO TEACH CHILDREN A GODLY HERITAGE.

Proverbs 4 1 Hear, my children, the instruction of a father, And give attention to know understanding…3 When I was my father’s son, Tender and the only one in the sight of my mother, 4 He also taught me…”

This is very interesting because Solomon remembers David teaching him when he was a child. Now he is passing it down to Rehoboam. Not all tradition is bad.

Application: dads – are you passing down any godly heritage to your children? Do you have any to pass along?

We cannot understand how to be a dad until we understand how God is our heavenly father. He teaches us to turn away from those who walked towards sin. He calls us to find wisdom. Through his Holy Spirit he teaches us the wisdom that is in Christ. He gives us mercy and he gives us truth so we can find favor with God and with people. He disciplines us when we lose our way. That reminds us that we belong to him. He daily reminds us but we belong to the family of God.

Do you know your heavenly father? You cannot come to the father unless you go through the son. Do you know Jesus as your Savior?

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