Related by Dr. Abidan Shah

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RELATED by Dr. Shah, Clearview Church, Henderson, NC

Introduction: Relatives, family members, loved ones—We all have them. We love them. We would do anything for them. Having said that, they’re also the very people who drive us crazy, especially during the holiday season. Someone said, “Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.” In today’s message, we’re going to learn that even Jesus had to deal with a crazy earthly family. In fact, throughout his earthly ministry, they thought that he was out of his mind! He had to exercise great wisdom and grace in dealing with them. So also, we need wisdom and grace if we’re going to make it with our earthly family. Our message today is titled “RELATED.”

Mark 3    20 Then the multitude came together again, so that they could not so much as eat bread. 21 But when His own people heard about this, they went out to lay hold of Him, for they said, “He is out of His mind.”  31 Then His brothers and His mother came, and standing outside they sent to Him, calling Him. 32 And a multitude was sitting around Him; and they said to Him, “Look, Your mother and Your brothers are outside seeking You.” 33 But He answered them, saying, “Who is My mother, or My brothers?” 34 And He looked around in a circle at those who sat about Him, and said, “Here are My mother and My brothers! 35 For whoever does the will of God is My brother and My sister and mother.”

Question: Jesus’ family thought that he was out of his mind. Can you imagine that! Do you have family members who think that you are out of your mind? How much do you let family dictate how you live your life? Do you have lost family members? Have you prayed for them to be saved? Are you saved?

Background: As many of you know, I have been pastoring for about 21 years. Through the years, people have come to me for all kinds of counselling. In my experience, one of the major issues that people struggle with in life is family relationships—How to deal with people we grew up with? How to get along with people who are connected to us for no other reason other than the providence of God! On one hand, our family can be a great source of blessing and comfort to us. They can give us a sense of belonging. They are a reminder that we are not alone in this world. They are people who know our past—good and bad—and still accept us. On the other hand, our family or a family member can also be a great source of consternation and pain to us. There are family members or a family member who for one reason or another have/has turned toxic towards us. They(he/she) use 2 weapons of mass destruction to make our lives miserable—blame and shame. Either way, the result is devastating! Even though Jesus came for the primary purpose to redeem us from our sin, he was not immune to the daily struggles of life. He too had a family that tried to use those 2 weapons of shame and blame against him. But, he dealt with them with wisdom and grace. In the next few minutes, we’re going to learn how to do the same.

Context: Let’s return to the passage we just read—Mark 3:20 “Then the multitude came together again, so that they could not so much as eat bread.” To understand what this means, we need to back up to Mark 3 starting in verse 7 But Jesus withdrew with His disciples to the sea. And a great multitude from Galilee followed Him, and from Judea 8 and Jerusalem and Idumea and beyond the Jordan; and those from Tyre and Sidon, a great multitude, when they heard how many things He was doing, came to Him. 9 So He told His disciples that a small boat should be kept ready for Him because of the multitude, lest they should crush Him. 10 For He healed many, so that as many as had afflictions pressed about Him to touch Him. 11 And the unclean spirits, whenever they saw Him, fell down before Him and cried out, saying, “You are the Son of God.” 12 But He sternly warned them that they should not make Him known. I would say that judging by all standards, Jesus’ ministry was extremely successful. Not only that but many people were being helped. Their lives were being transformed for the better. His ministry was so successful that he did not even have time to eat!

What was the response of his family? 21 But when His own people heard about this…” His own people were probably people from his hometown or even extended family members or leaders in the family from Nazareth. “…they went out to lay hold of Him…” They came to Capernaum to “krateo” = seize him! “…for they said, ‘He is out of His mind.’” The Greek for “out of his mind” is one word “exhistemi.” It means “to be out of his senses,” “confused,” or “crazy.” In other words, his extended family was not in favor of his success. So, they came to drag him physically because he had gone crazy!

Application: Has that happened to you, maybe not physically but verbally and emotionally? You go out, work hard and smart, hoping to hear a “well done!” from your loved ones.” Instead, you get nothing. You put pictures on social media, hoping that family will like them but they ignore. You check it 100 times an hour! Take heart, Jesus had the same problem.

Why were they like that? Mark 6 gives us some clue—1 “Then He went out from there and came to His own country, and His disciples followed Him. 2 And when the Sabbath had come, He began to teach in the synagogue. And many hearing Him were astonished, saying, ‘Where did this Man get these things? And what wisdom is this which is given to Him, that such mighty works are performed by His hands! 3 Is this not the carpenter, the Son of Mary, and brother of James, Joses, Judas, and Simon? And are not His sisters here with us?’ So hateful! Are you like that? So they were offended at Him.” The Greek word is “skandalizo,” which gives us our English word “scandal.” Their problem was SHAME.

Remember: Some people will never get over your past. Hometown heroes and heroines are few and far between. If they build you a statue in your honor, it may be after you are dead and gone. Word to the wise: Grow with the people in your life. Don’t think that people are still where they were when you first met them. They will appreciate you more if you meet them where they are today. They may even give you credit for their success.

4 But Jesus said to them, “A prophet is not without honor except in his own country, among his own relatives, and in his own house.” By the way, this was all a fulfillment of the Old Testament prophecy in Psalm 69:8 “I have become a stranger to my brothers, And an alien to my mother’s children.” 5 Now He could do no mighty work there, except that He laid His hands on a few sick people and healed them. 6 And He marveled because of their unbelief. Then He went about the villages in a circuit, teaching.”

How do you handle “shame”? Know your true IDENTITY IN CHRIST—redeemed, forgiven, made new, child of God, more than a conqueror.

But it’s not over yet. Mark 3:31 “Then His brothers and His mother came…” Maybe the hometown crowd pressured them to. “…and standing outside they sent to Him, calling Him.” Why standing outside? I don’t think this was because there was no room in the house. Listen to verse 32 And a multitude was sitting around Him; and they said to Him, “Look, Your mother and Your brothers are outside seeking You.” If crowd was the problem, the word would not have reached him. By refusing to come in, they were refusing to endorse his success. They were communicating their displeasure with him for causing such a raucous. They were telling him that they were not impressed with his latest shenanigans! Their problem was BLAME.

What was Jesus’ response? 33 But He answered them, saying, “Who is My mother, or My brothers?” 34 And He looked around in a circle at those who sat about Him, and said, “Here are My mother and My brothers! 35 For whoever does the will of God is My brother and My sister and mother.” This is very powerful: Jesus did not submit his ministry to his family’s approval. He stood his ground and refused to go out to meet them. He did not alter God’s VISION to please his earthly family.

Principle to remember: If you keep seeking the approval of those who don’t understand you, you will never complete the vision God has for your life. It’s great to have the blessing of your loved ones but ultimately, it’s God’s approval that counts.

If we were to end here, this would be “us against the world” sermon. This is not what Jesus did. He demonstrated GRACE towards his earthly family:

  1. To his Mother—John 19 25 Now there stood by the cross of Jesus His mother, and His mother’s sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene. 26 When Jesus therefore saw His mother, and the disciple whom He loved standing by, He said to His mother, “Woman, behold your son!” 27 Then He said to the disciple, “Behold your mother!” And from that hour that disciple took her to his own home.
  2. To his Brother—1 Corinthians 15 4 “…He rose again the third day according to the Scriptures, 5 and that He was seen by Cephas, then by the twelve. 6 After that He was seen by over five hundred brethren at once, of whom the greater part remain to the present, but some have fallen asleep. 7 After that He was seen by James…” James was the head of the Jerusalem church and the writer of the book of James. So also, Jude was another brother who wrote the short letter in the New Testament that bears his name.

Ultimately, our goal with our family should not be approval or validation. It should be salvation through Jesus Christ and a growing likeness to him. In the end, that’s all that will matter. When you are clear about your IDENTITY and VISION, refuse to succumb to SHAME and BLAME, and choose to show GRACE, you can overcome any family problems.

Invitation: Are you still hurt about what your family has done? Have you hurt someone in your family that you need to seek forgiveness from? When was the last time you prayed for them to be saved? When was the last time you encouraged them to walk with Christ? Are you saved?

 

Train Up a Child (Article) by Abidan Paul Shah

TRAIN UP A CHILD (Article) by Abidan Paul Shah

(Published in the newspaper Daily Dispatch, Henderson on March 31, 2018)

Proverbs 22:6 “Train up a child in the way he (she) should go, and when he (she) is old he (she) will not depart from it.”

Train Up a Child (1)The world is upside down. We have become W.B. Rands’ “Topsy-Turvy World” where “three times one was nine…the pony rode his master…the cats were afraid of the mouse…and the mamma sold her baby.” Now right is wrong and wrong is your right. The good guys are the bad guys and the bad guys are the heroes. Sin is freedom and morality is intolerance. As the late pastor Adrian Rogers would say, “sin that use to slink down the back alley now struts down the main street.”

As bad as all that is, we’ve hit a new low when children are being made to lecture adults on what’s right and what’s wrong! Now kids are being held up as spokespersons and activists against time-honored foundational values. There are some who are celebrating this but I believe that it will prove to be devastating to our kids as well as to our society and future. It is no different than giving those same kids a wire-stripper and setting them loose in an electrical panel or giving them a scalpel and letting them do critical surgery.

Train Up a Child (2)Don’t think for a moment that I am talking down about children. To the contrary, I am repulsed by the adage – “Children are to be seen and not heard.” Jesus welcomed children. He compared the reception of his kingdom to the humility of a child. He threatened those who would hurt children with the severest punishment. Repeatedly, the Bible commands us to treat children with the utmost respect and care. This requires that we understand that what they truly deserve and desire from us is right training. Proverbs 22:6 lays out the 4 non-negotiables in this process:

  1. The Child – The Hebrew word is “nahar,” which can mean anywhere from an unborn child to a young person. From the context, it is obvious that the training has to begin as early as possible. Delay in training will diminish the promise. Children are like a garden. The longer you let it go, the harder it is get it back.
  2. The Way – There are only 2 ways in life. The first is God’s Way and the second is the Sinful Way. One leads to life and the other to destruction. Once on the right way, you cannot keep going back to the wrong way and still expect to get to your destination.
  3. The Training – Read Deuteronomy 6:6-9. It is not a one-time event but a 24/7 job. It is not accidental but intentional. It is not irrational but logical. It is not authoritarian but empathetic. It is not cherry picked but balanced. It is not harsh but firm. It is not disheartened but patient.
  4. The Trainer – Training is more caught than taught. In other words, it’s not enough to just preach at your kids. You have to practice what you preach. Doing immoral and unethical things and warning your kids not to does not work. Dropping your kids off at church as you squeal your tires out of the parking lot does not cut it. As someone wisely said, “whatever you do in moderation, your children will do in excess.” You want your kids to follow Christ, then you follow him. If you do those 4 non-negotiables correctly, then only the promise is that those kids may lose their way but they will be back.

If Neil Postman was right that “Children are the living messages we send to a time we will not see,” what message are we giving to our kids? I see a bright future ahead as more and more parents are rising up and taking their rightful roles as trainers and models to their kids.

WHEN MOTHERS PRAY

WHEN MOTHERS PRAY by Abidan Paul Shah

When Mothers PrayHistory is replete with examples of the prayers of women, especially mothers. God delights in their prayers and wants to answer them. One such example is found in the Old Testament – the prayer of Hannah (1 Samuel 1). As you know she couldn’t have any children and she prayed before God earnestly and her prayers were answered.

How did she pray?

  1. SHE PRAYED FROM THE HEART.

Verse 10 And she was in bitterness of soul, and prayed to the LORD and wept in anguish.

  1. SHE PRAYED VERY SPECIFICALLY.

Verse 11 Then she made a vow and said, “O LORD of hosts, if You will indeed look on the affliction of Your maidservant and remember me, and not forget Your maidservant, but will give Your maidservant a male child…”

  1. SHE PRAYED SACRIFICIALLY.

Verse 11 –If You “will give Your maidservant a male child, then I will give him to the LORD all the days of his life, and no razor shall come upon his head.”

  1. SHE PRAYED PERSEVERINGLY.

Verse 12 And it happened, as she continued praying before the LORD…

Hannah kept praying even though the priest questioned her sincerity.

  1. SHE PRAYED BELIEVINGLY.

Verse 17 Then Eli answered and said, “Go in peace, and the God of Israel grant your petition which you have asked of Him.” 18 And she said, “Let your maidservant find favor in your sight.” So the woman went her way and ate, and her face was no longer sad.

WHAT WAS THE RESULT OF HANNAH’S PRAYER?

  1. Her prayer was answered.

Verse 20 So it came to pass in the process of time that Hannah conceived and bore a son, and called his name Samuel, saying, “Because I have asked for him from the LORD.”

  1. She kept her word to the Lord.

Verse 24 Now when she had weaned him, she took him up with her…27 For this child I prayed, and the LORD has granted me my petition which I asked of Him. 28 Therefore I also have lent him to the LORD; as long as he lives he shall be lent to the LORD.”

  1. God used the little boy in a powerful way.

This is the Samuel who went up and down the length and breadth of Israel to unite the people. He is the one who anointed Saul as the first king and then replaced him with David – the true King through whom came Jesus.

This is what happens when women pray, especially mothers. Where is prayer in your life? Where is God in your life? Where is Jesus in your life?

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