DADS WANTED – Part 1 by Pastor Shah, Clearview Church, Henderson
Introduction: This weekend being Father’s Day we’re going to take a break from our ongoing series on the Sermon on the Mount and talk about something that is very dear to my heart – something more important to me than being a pastor, more important than being a scholar, and it comes next only to my relationship with my wife. It’s my calling to be a dad. Those who know me know that I take it very seriously. Today is part one of the message – “DADS WANTED.”
Prov. 1:8-19 8 My son, hear the instruction of your father, And do not forsake the law of your mother; 9 For they will be a graceful ornament on your head, And chains about your neck. 10 My son, if sinners entice you, Do not consent. 11 If they say, “Come with us, Let us lie in wait to shed blood; Let us lurk secretly for the innocent without cause; 12 Let us swallow them alive like Sheol, And whole, like those who go down to the Pit; 13 We shall find all kinds of precious possessions, We shall fill our houses with spoil; 14 Cast in your lot among us, Let us all have one purse”— 15 My son, do not walk in the way with them, Keep your foot from their path;
Overall Background: 8 My son, hear the instruction of your father…” Who is the son and who is the father? To get their identity, you have to go back to the first verse of this chapter – The proverbs of Solomon the son of David, king of Israel: So the father is Solomon the son of King David and he is writing this letter to his son Rehoboam. Do you see the 3 generations – Granddaddy David, daddy Solomon, and son Rehoboam. Before we go further, what kind of a man was granddaddy David? He was the shepherd boy who killed Goliath, the sweet psalmist of Israel who wrote songs like Psalm 23, the great King and leader, and the man after God’s own heart. But what kind of a dad was David? Besides being an adulterer and a murderer, he was a failure as a father.
Application: Many of you grew up with a David as a father. Instead of wasting your time regretting the past or blaming all your problems on him, let God bring healing for your past and you do things differently. If you are that David, do whatever you can to make things right. Listen to 1 Kings 2 1 Now the days of David drew near that he should die, and he charged Solomon his son, saying: 2 “I go the way of all the earth; be strong, therefore, and prove yourself a man. (Maybe he was saying – “I wasn’t the man I was supposed to be but you make it right.”) 3 And keep the charge of the LORD your God: to walk in His ways, to keep His statutes, His commandments, His judgments, and His testimonies, as it is written in the Law of Moses, that you may prosper in all that you do and wherever you turn…” Now Solomon is a father and he is doing things differently. He is writing letters to his son Rehoboam teaching him about God, life, wisdom, relationships, decisions, and the difference between right and wrong.
Why do these letters matter to us? America is in a crisis today – the crisis of fatherhood. It began as early as the 1830s when the Industrial Revolution started and fathers had to go to a factory or an assembly line away from home. Even back in 1830 people saw the dangerous trend and they warned against it. During Civil War, soldiers often wrote home and what they wrote is a good indicator of how the home was run. One soldier wrote to his wife: “I think of you…and I wish I could be there to send Ed to bed on time…should I ever reach home again I feel thankful to think I am spared on Edwin’s account as I know he will grow up a bad boy unless some father guides him.” Sadly, such accounts became rare as we approached the 1900s. Now the mother became the “natural” caretaker of the child and the father became a provider, a supervisor and disciplinarian. He earns, fixes things, mows the lawn, and that’s about it. In fact in 1900, someone said that “the suburban husband and father” was just a “Sunday institution.” That was a hundred years ago. We have moved way past that point.
For e.g. Back in 1995 (20 years ago), a book came out called “Fatherless America: Confronting our most urgent social problem.” Listen to what the author, David Blankenhorn, said in his introduction: “Tonight, about 40 percent of American children will go to sleep in homes in which their fathers do not live. Before they reach the age of eighteen, more than half of our nation’s children are likely to spend at least a significant portion of their childhoods living apart from their fathers. Never before in this country have so many children been voluntarily abandoned by their fathers. (Its one thing if the father has died.) Never before have so many children grown up without knowing what it means to have a father. . . Consider this prediction. After the year 2000, as people born after 1970 emerge as a large proportion of our working-age adult population, the United States will be a nation divided into two groups, separate and unequal. . . The primary fault line dividing the two groups will not be race, religion, class, education, or gender. It will be patrimony. One group will consist of those adults who grew up with the daily presence and provision of fathers. The other group will consist of those who did not. By the early years of the next century, these two groups will be roughly the same size.” Further down in chapter 12, he writes: “The most urgent domestic challenge facing the United States at the close of the twentieth century is the re-creation of the fatherhood as a vital social role for men. At stake is nothing less than the success of the American experiment.”
Bottom Line: America desperately needs some Solomons – men who will REFUSE to let their past define them, men who will REJECT the negative labels that society has placed on them, and men who will REFLECT God as a standard of fatherhood. Altogether Solomon wrote 10 letters but this morning we will only look at the first five and then next week the remaining five. Again, we’re not looking at every detail in these letters, that would take days, just the highlights. 5 Reasons Dads are wanted:
I. DADS ARE WANTED TO TEACH CHILDREN TO REJECT BAD COMPANY.
Proverbs 1 10 My son, if sinners entice you, Do not consent. 11 If they say, “Come with us, Let us lie in wait to shed blood; Let us lurk secretly for the innocent without cause; 12 Let us swallow them alive like Sheol, And whole, like those who go down to the Pit; 13 We shall find all kinds of precious possessions, We shall fill our houses with spoil; 14 Cast in your lot among us, Let us all have one purse”—
Young people – parents (especially dads) have a built-in troublemaker detector. That’s why they say things like – “If all your friends were to jump off a bridge, would you do it too?” That’s not the time to ask – “What if the bridge is on fire?”
15 My son, do not walk in the way with them, Keep your foot from their path; 16 For their feet run to evil, And they make haste to shed blood. 17 Surely, in vain the net is spread In the sight of any bird; 18 But they lie in wait for their own blood, They lurk secretly for their own lives.
Illustration: My dad told me to stay away from wine, women, and gambling.
Application: Dads – Do you take the time to teach your children the difference between good and bad company? Here’s a better question – what kind of company do you keep?
II. DADS ARE WANTED TO TEACH CHILDREN HOW TO FIND WISDOM.
Proverbs 2 1 My son, if you receive my words, And treasure my commands within you, 2 So that you incline your ear to wisdom, And apply your heart to understanding; 3 Yes, if you cry out for discernment, And lift up your voice for understanding,
Would you agree that our young people desperately needs wisdom? They need wisdom in their relationships, finances, future, and daily decisions.
Where does wisdom come from? 4 If you seek her as silver, And search for her as for hidden treasures; 5 Then you will understand the fear of the LORD, And find the knowledge of God. 6 For the LORD gives wisdom; From His mouth come knowledge and understanding;
Application: Dads – do you take the time to teach your children how to find wisdom? Again, do you seek for wisdom? Do you read the word of God on a daily basis?
III. DADS ARE WANTED TO TEACH CHILDREN HOW TO BE SUCCESSFUL.
1 My son, do not forget my law, But let your heart keep my commands; 2 For length of days and long life And peace they will add to you. 3 Let not mercy and truth forsake you; Bind them around your neck, Write them on the tablet of your heart, 4 And so find favor and high esteem In the sight of God and man.
Mercy = “Hesed” It could be translated “kindness” or “help to the needy.”
For e.g. Do you teach your children not to make fun of people regarding their color, clothes, and looks?
Truth = “Emet” It can refer to “faithfulness” or “being trustworthy” or “living by truth.”
For e.g. Do you teach your children to tell the truth or do you teach them to cheat?
When these two things are in your life, God will look at you with favor and so will people.
Application: dads – do you teach your children the value of mercy and truth? Here’s a better question is there mercy and truth in your life? That’s the secret of success.
IV. DADS ARE WANTED TO TEACH CHILDREN DISCIPLINE.
Proverbs 3 11 My son, do not despise the chastening of the LORD, Nor detest His correction; 12 For whom the LORD loves He corrects, Just as a father the son in whom he delights.
People swing from Dr. Spock on one end to Dr. Watson on the other. The former advocated permissiveness and the latter strict discipline. The grandson of Spock committed suicide by jumping off the building where his father worked. The son of Watson also committed suicide. The answer is neither. It is the bible that has the truth.
We’re not called to punish but discipline. We’re called to correct and redirect. We have to understand age appropriate discipline. In our society – dads have given up their God-given right to correct their children. Why? Because they are full of problems themselves.
Application: Dads – do you discipline your children? Are there things in your life that need God’s discipline?
V. DADS ARE WANTED TO TEACH CHILDREN A GODLY HERITAGE.
Proverbs 4 1 Hear, my children, the instruction of a father, And give attention to know understanding…3 When I was my father’s son, Tender and the only one in the sight of my mother, 4 He also taught me…”
This is very interesting because Solomon remembers David teaching him when he was a child. Now he is passing it down to Rehoboam. Not all tradition is bad.
Application: dads – are you passing down any godly heritage to your children? Do you have any to pass along?
We cannot understand how to be a dad until we understand how God is our heavenly father. He teaches us to turn away from those who walked towards sin. He calls us to find wisdom. Through his Holy Spirit he teaches us the wisdom that is in Christ. He gives us mercy and he gives us truth so we can find favor with God and with people. He disciplines us when we lose our way. That reminds us that we belong to him. He daily reminds us but we belong to the family of God.
Do you know your heavenly father? You cannot come to the father unless you go through the son. Do you know Jesus as your Savior?