“SEX, SEX, AND MORE SEX”
Now that I have your attention, keep reading. You won’t be disappointed.
Sex is God’s idea. It was His wedding present to the first husband and wife. It is the picture of ultimate oneness based on trust and commitment. At its best, it is heaven on earth! But, it takes work to maintain it. Daily it is threatened by selfishness, anger, bitterness, and resentment. Forgiveness and lots of it can restore sexual intimacy every time—except in one case: unfaithfulness. My fellow pastors will agree with me that adultery brings more pain and devastation in a marriage than anything else. Sometimes the consequences can be life-long. Although God’s grace can heal even the worst situation, it is so much better to try the prevention rather than the cure. Here are some principles from Proverbs 5.
- Watch out for words. “For the lips of an immoral woman (man) drip honey, And her (his) mouth is smoother than oil.” (Proverbs 5:3) Contrary to what we think, adultery begins with the words and not the eyes. Beware of the strange woman or man who uses seductive words, subtle remarks, suggestive comments, and sexual innuendos. Did you hear the serpent hissing? Such conversations begin with comments like – “You look fine today. I hope your husband appreciates you.” Or, “I love that shirt on you. You need to wear it more often.” Those who have a wrong motive will become more and more provocative each time unless they are stopped.
- Keep the end in mind. “But in the end she (he) is bitter as wormwood, Sharp as a two-edged sword. Her (his) feet go down to death, Her (his) steps lay hold of Sheol.” (Proverbs 5:4-5) Although the taste of the forbidden fruit is sweet at the moment, it becomes bitter as the leaves of the wormwood shrub. As much as you try to spit it out, the aftertaste remains. Like a sharp two-edged sword it tears apart your marriage, children, friends, finances, business, etc. You take on a cold, hard, and death-like appearance; you move into a Sheol-like netherworld where life has no charm, purpose, excitement, and joy. Instead, there is shame and guilt.
- Enjoy sexual intimacy with your spouse. “Drink water from your own cistern, and running water from your own well.” (Proverbs 5:15) Instead of drinking the sewer water of adultery, the Word of God encourages the couple to rediscover each other. It might need some repairs to the cistern and some wells might have to be re-dug; but the water is cool, clean, and refreshing. “Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice with the wife of your youth (youthful wife).” (Proverbs 5:18) Here’s my translation: “May your sexual relationship be blessed, and get sexual enjoyment from your wife who enjoys having pleasure with you.”
I understand that this is not easy for those who learned from their parents that sex was dirty or had to endure sexual abuse as a child; but failure to get help will leave you in bondage and cause your spouse to be tempted. God’s Word and godly counsel can help you heal and enjoy sexual intimacy with your spouse. As you noticed, the Bible is not shy about discussing the subject. Remember, sin made sex shameful (Genesis 3:7) and the church turned over this gift of God to the enemy. He is busy using porn to spread pre-marital and extra-marital sex.
Jesus smiles when He sees a husband and wife living in oneness and enjoying sexual intimacy with each other. After all, He was the Best Man, Father of the Bride, and the Pastor at the first wedding.
So…..what are you still doing here?